We all have those poisonous people in our lives that exist simply to bring us down. I bet someone just came to mind; it doesn’t matter if they’re your friend, family member, bully, or yourself, we all have our demons. Some of us have conquered our demons but some are just unconquerable, however that doesn’t mean they can’t be tamed.
I am currently a collegiate softball player at SUNY New Paltz, surrounded by some of the most amazing people I have ever met. But, this journey has not been a walk through the park, in fact, before college, softball was one of the most poisonous things in my life. Not because of the sport itself, but because of the criticism and people it brought with it. Throughout my softball career, I heard the word “no” a lot. Whether it was a critique of how I play or just a rejection from joining a team, the word “no” was a prevalent word when I was twelve. As I got older, a lot of the no’s I heard were from myself because of the people in my past who didn’t support me in the way I deserved at that age. I was, and still am, my harshest critic, and no one will ever be more disappointed in myself than I am when something goes wrong.
When I was younger, my validation came from others so it was natural that I was telling myself the things that I could and couldn’t do, before I even did them. As I grew older, I realized the only validation I needed, was myself; not my coaches, not other players, and not the other players parents. This was a hard concept to come to terms with, but once I entered college and began playing with some of the teammates I know I will have for life, my view on myself did a complete 180. I knew I could, because they knew I could and that was all I ever needed, was someone to believe in me. I greet obstacles instead of fear them and relish in the challenges that come my way.
To my team, thank you for believing in me. You are the reason I became the player, and the person, I am today. For never giving up on me, even when it would have been easy to, and standing by my side when I wasn’t having the best day. I love softball, but it doesn’t always love you. However, I wouldn’t want it to, because than it would be easy and ever since I was that little twelve-year-old who was told no, I’ve loved a challenge. And to those people, who insisted on me being one of the weaker kids or the slower or the less skilled, I want to say thank you. Your uncertainty in me, has made me completely certain of who I am. I have become more resilient, confident and prouder than ever to say that I play a sport at the collegiate level. I did it for me, but I also did it to prove you all wrong; to prove that I wasn’t as weak as you thought.
If any of you out there are struggling with people who don’t believe in you, say you’re not good enough or not worth it and you need a little boost; here it is. I believe you, and I don’t need to know you to say that you can do it. You are capable of so much more than you would have ever dreamed of. I wish someone would have said this to me sooner, but I hope I make it in time for some of you, before you give up. All I ever needed was to hear someone say those three magic words to get me in motion so, here they are: Yes, you can.
