Let’s all admit it right now: it sucks feeling lonely. Or worse yet, it sucks suddenly being paranoid that maybe you’ve pissed off one of your close friends, or that your loved one has inexplicitly decided to give up on loving you. The worst part sometimes is realizing that nothing has really changed and yet, feeling like everything is about to come crashing down. That is, it’s being lonely for seemingly no reason. At least, it doesn’t seem like anything is wrong. You might suddenly start reading into everything people say and do, from that missing emoji at the end of their text to that slight waver in their voice. Or maybe you feel neglected or that something is wrong, when in fact, not much has changed. There is nothing harder than believing that despite your fear, you are still wanted. So this is a shout-out to people who sometimes feel unnecessarily lonely or neglected, whose mind goes crazily insecure despite their rationality.
There are a ton of ways to try to figure these feelings away, and we can call it whatever we will: humility, an existential crisis or even just anxiety. I’m no expert in psychology and I certainly don’t intend on being one. I’m here to say that you can’t let yourself bring yourself so low that you start thinking you don’t deserve love, friendship or happiness.
Perhaps it’s not in my place to say all this; after all, what do I know? Usually, I would never speak so boldly when I obviously don’t have any facts to present. I say this because in order to experience the future you have to survive the present. I know that nothing about it is easy, and the answer always seems to be to just wait it out, and to fight endlessly against the doubts. In the meantime, think about the happy memories you’ve made in your life and clutch onto them for dear life. Maybe this will be a funny joke, a funny moment you have shared with friends, the memory of your best friend’s laugh or your partner’s smile. In a lot of ways, you’ve already helped create so many joyous moments, and you have given the people you love. And even though these people might not be around to help you get through these seemingly inescapable feelings, I know that if they knew, they would be praying for your well-being. In short, all that they would want from you is to just see you be OK.
Say it as many times as it takes, "You are worthy of love, you are worthy of happiness, you are worth being visible." If you have someone you cherish, then let them know they’re being appreciated. There is happiness with your name on it and there are friends who are rooting for you. There is a future that is waiting for you as soon as you feel better and what shape that future takes is all up to you.
