Last week, I wrote about my introversion and how I often enjoy being alone. It made me think a lot about the difference between being alone and actual loneliness. I have learned that they are two completely different experiences. Being alone is not having any company, but not necessarily longing for it. Loneliness is longing for company but not having any, or not feeling you have any. It is a tremendously scary and awful feeling, maybe one of the worst feelings ever. And we’ve all been there, several times. Even the most extreme of introverts must crave SOME human interaction.
I think it is pretty clear that loneliness is an extremely unpleasant feeling. Most of my least favorite moments of my life were due to loneliness. Longing for some amity but not having access to it for whatever reason is a horrendous feeling. In fact, longing is just a horrendous feeling in general. But then I guess if I am grouping loneliness with longing, I should group longing and loneliness with sadness. I don’t think longing is the same thing as sadness though, and I don’t think that it should be grouped in with that. Being lonely feels like nothing else. It is horrible and scary to realize that you ultimately have no one but yourself and you must learn to be okay with that because you will be stuck with yourself for the rest of your life.
I’m going off to college in a few weeks, and though I’m very lucky to have very friendly roommates, I’m sure I will have many more lonely moments and there is nothing I can do about that. Though I can’t change the fact that I will feel lonely, there’s no way to stop it unless I somehow shut myself off from all other emotions: happiness, surprise, anger, etc. It’s just not worth it. I’ve learned that I can live with feeling lonely. It reminds me of a Dr. Seuss quote in ‘Oh, the Places You’ll Go.’
All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.
And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.
But on you will go
though the weather be foul.
On and on you will hike,
And I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)
Though it is my least favorite feeling, loneliness can help you to see the real, unadulterated you. Often, I feel very lonely when I am very sad, but I do not search for any interaction because it can be strangely kind of calming. It brings me to my core where I am stuck with only myself, and that is fine. It brings out some weird sense of peace in me. The worst that will happen is I have to deal with my emotions, alone. And I can do that. It’s okay to feel lonely.
Loneliness is very unpleasant, but also inevitable. It’s just a part of being human, and everyone feels it during their lives. It’s a vital part of also feeling the sadness and joy and laughter that comes with our human existence.
