To set the scene, I grew up never having to worry about food on the table or a roof over my head. Since I can remember, my family has had multiple cars, clean water and healthcare that is accessible and immediate. It is no question that I grew up and continue to live in the top few percentiles of the world's population, undoubtedly having all of life's tangible necessities. On top of these blessings, I look around at my friend's lives and consider how I'm possibly even better off than them. My parents are happily married, I'm currently attending college and I have many important people in my life that I know care about me.
Stepping back and looking at all the things I've been handed in life, it is difficult to understand how I could ever feel depressed.
When I dealt with depression for the first time in fifth grade, I felt extremely guilty because I looked at all the things I had, and couldn't understand why I was sad. Was I being ungrateful? In my mind, I truly had nothing to complain about or pity myself for. As unfortunate as it is, I think that many people make their depression worse because of this endless cycle of guilt and questioning.
Time went on, and I learned more about diagnosed, clinical depression and anxiety and how depression isn't always because of an event. Sometimes it is just a chemical imbalance in the brain that doesn't require an explanation. I can argue that depression never, ever needs an explanation. Throughout therapy, doctor's appointments and wise words, I've heard a lot of encouraging ideas to make me feel better about lingering guilt. However, nothing has struck me quite as much as this:
The message that is carried in this text is the message I hope to convey to each person struggling with the way they feel. Do not feel bad for feeling bad, no matter your circumstances. You are allowed and expected to have hard moments, days or months. Do not discredit your struggles because someone else's may be greater.
I think it is important to count your blessings, but not use them as a reason to never feel sad, because, as stated, you are more than just a body—you are a soul, too, and this is something that can be broken much like a body part. Making yourself feel guilty by comparing your struggles to someone else's will in no way make yourself feel better and it can potentially lead to worse, isolating feelings. Take the steps you need to get help, talk through feelings and do not sell yourself short. May peace and joy be with you all.
