Depression isn't always the feeling of sadness, and similarly, anxiety isn't always just worrying too much. As anyone who suffers from either (or both) of these disorders knows, sometimes how you feel on the inside doesn't always reflect on your behavior on the outside. Although the outside reactions are almost polar opposite, anyone who experiences both disorders knows that neither one is better than the other. People who experience anxiety can sometimes appear high-strung, and basically seem like they are just worrying about every little thing. People who experience depression can seem unmotivated, or simply just really sad. That is what the stigmas taught us to believe, right? Wrong.
Life is hard. Sometimes you spill coffee on your shirt and then spend the next 30 minutes crying about you don't even know what in the shower, and sometimes you have so much on your to-do list that you decide to nap instead. Dealing with everyday occurrences, and the emotions associated with them, can sometimes be too hard to handle for some. That's not to say they are hopeless, or even ill-adjusted to dealing with circumstances.
No one asks for how they feel when a depressive episode or an anxiety attack hits. If you ask a person plagued with either of these, the answers will vary with every person you talk to. For some, they experience either depression or anxiety individually. By themselves, these disorders are sometimes debilitating. However, there are those people who experience both. To put it in perspective about how it feels, having both anxiety and depression can be skipping school because you cannot mentally bear to go, and then panicking because you feel guilty about possibly failing. It can be the worry that you won't ever feel whole, or feel like yourself, and that can cause you to feel as though nobody else will want you.
We have been taught to believe that having a mental disorder makes you defective in some way. That sometimes people act out in a high-strung or depressive manner in order to get attention. For those of you who haven't experienced either of these, I urge you to realize that when a person talks to you about their anxieties or their depression that they are actually confiding in you. Because of how we are taught, there are millions of people who suffer in silence. Who hope it is just a phase in their life or that it is just something that they have to handle on their own.
So before you tell a person with depression to "snap out of it," or an individual having an anxiety attack to just "chill out," think about the fact that they may be confiding in you. It takes a lot of courage to admit to even just yourself that you are struggling. Imagine the sleepless nights and contemplation put into finally talking to another person about their mental state. Think about how you would want to be treated if you were going through it.
Mental illness is still an illness. Sometimes there is a cure, sometimes there is only treatment. It is so similar to physical illnesses and injuries, yet no one tells a person to just snap out of a coma or asks them if they've tried not having the flu. Just because you're depressed does not mean you're lazy, and the reason for an anxiety attack cannot always be explained.
If you are one of the millions of people who feel lost because of depression or anxiety, know that the unexplained loneliness you feel doesn't mean that you are alone. You are unique in how you feel, but there are so many people out there whose disorders cripple them to the extent that they cannot let anyone in. Help is not for the weak, and the stigma that mental illness is some sort of thing that needs to be kept hush-hush is absurd. Just remember to always take a minute to be a listening ear for someone if they ask, even if your don't understand what they say. Trust me when I say that no one can ever criticize a person with anxiety or depression more harshly than they criticize themselves. In the case of helping to eradicate the negative stereotypes of mental illness, knowledge is power.
"Be the change you want to see in the world." Mahatma Gandhi.
