It's Time To Stop Calling People Who Are Focusing On Themselves 'Self-Absorbed'
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

It's Time To Stop Calling People Who Are Focusing On Themselves 'Self-Absorbed'

There's a MAJOR difference between self-absorbed and focusing on oneself.

271
It's Time To Stop Calling People Who Are Focusing On Themselves 'Self-Absorbed'

There's a lot of talk, particularly on social media, about self-care and taking care of yourself, putting yourself first. It's great and amazing, especially when we live in a world that can be hella stress-inducing and judgmental.

But the second someone starts putting themselves first, they're labeled as "self-absorbed."

Isn't that ironic? People will think it's great to take care of yourself...until it means that you're putting yourself before their needs and what they want from you. Basically, self-care is all great and good to another person until it gets in the way of what they want from you.

There's a major difference between "self-absorbed" and "self-focus:" the intention.

That is about as simple as I can put it. One's intentions behind putting their needs and wants before those of others make up the line between "self-absorbed" and "self-focus."

Self-absorbed means you only care about yourself and what you want, even if it's at the expense of others and/or regardless of whether you actually need it.

Self-focus means you're taking time to focus on yourself and your needs, rather than constantly caring more about everyone else and what they need. It's putting time into yourself because YOU need it, and because it's best for you.

We often forget that part of self-care is emphasizing the importance of your own needs and wants in scenarios where others would otherwise ignore them. It's saying "no" when others want us to say "yes," because saying "yes" all the time is exhausting, both emotionally, physically, and mentally. It's making others understand why what we want is just as important as what they want out of a situation.

You are allowed to put yourself first.

Here's a common scenario: If someone is suggesting plans to go out when you really just want to stay in, say no and "sorry not sorry" that the lack of your presence will "ruin the mood!" Especially for college kids, we're insanely busy. A quiet night in can sometimes sound sooo much better than a night out, even if it's with your friends. Take a second to think about whether you're actually up to go out, mentally and physically, rather than immediately replying "yes" just because it's your friend and they expect you to automatically join in the plans.

Self-focus is especially important when it comes to relationships.

NEVER. EVER. Let a friend or romantic partner make you feel unsatisfied in the relationship. Communication is so important, and you need to tell the other person if a certain repetitive behavior or action is making it hard for you to stay in the relationship.

I can personally attest to this one, as I had a former best friend who had various behaviors that made it hard to stay friends with her towards the end of the relationship. I wish I had taken the time back then to speak with her about it rather than letting tension build up within our relationship. I don't think it would have changed why we stopped being friends, but it would have made several months a lot easier.

Putting yourself first is always what's best for you.

You know, as long as you're not acting oblivious to the rest of the world (or reality) and not giving a damn about the impact of your actions on others. In which case, yes, you are self-absorbed and desperately in need of a reality check.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

44877
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

118500
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments