I went through a breakup in the middle of November 2018 and decided I'd get on Tinder and see what happens. I honestly didn't know what I wanted from it and I never thought people could actually find their forever person on it until I did. I actually ended up marrying him a couple of months after we had matched, and now we are about to hit 2 years of marriage! Here are some tips on finding love on Tinder, if you're ready for commitment...
1. Know your self-worth.
I'm not saying everyone on Tinder has no knowledge of their self-worth. Some use it for hookups, some use it to just try it out and see what happens, some use it to make friends, and some use it to find a significant other. Regardless of your reasoning to use it, you should always have a true sense of self-worth.
2. Make your intentions known from the start.
If you're on the app looking for a possible relationship, make that known. It can be intimidating putting in your bio "not looking for hookups" or "looking for a relationship," because most people won't swipe on those profiles, but the people there for the same reasons as you WILL. It's an easy way to filter out those that don't want the same thing as you versus those that do.
3. Figure out your match's intentions from the start.
Like number 2, you should also find out your match's intentions from the start. Someone just looking for a hookup may match with you, and they typically will make that clear. One of the first things I always ask is, "why are you on Tinder?" Based on the answer, the conversation would continue or not continue. I don't want to waste my time and you probably don't want to either. Everyone is at different points in life, and that's okay.
4. Figure out if you two interact well or not.
My now-husband had in his bio that he liked Vines. I also like Vines and so I started the conversation by saying, "I bet I could beat you in a Vine quote battle." He accepted the challenge, and from there we spent an hour or two just sending Vine quotes back and forth. I typically don't give out my Snapchat or phone number right away, but I felt as if we interacted well, even if it was just all Vine quotes, so I told him to add me on Snapchat before I went to sleep so we could talk on there the next day.
5. Don't wait for them to start the conversation
A lot of people will wait for the other person to start the conversation, which results in no conversation at all. My #1 suggestion is to not wait for them to start talking, go ahead, and send the first message. That's what I did, and look where it got me!
6. Do your research on the person
Listen, it's easy for people to put their best pictures on Tinder, but sometimes you have to dig a little deeper. Look them up on Instagram or Facebook and see what you find. They may look different than they do in their Tinder pictures, or may not seem as great as a person as they make themselves seem on Tinder. Do your research, if possible.
7. Meet up with them if you feel comfortable enough
So my husband and I met the day after we had matched on Tinder. He lived an hour and a half away from me and invited me to a barracks party, and I decided to go. But the only reason I was able to go was that he actually ordered me an Uber there, which was over $100. That in and of itself showed that he was dedicated to meeting me. It was also in a more public setting versus just him and me alone in his room, so I felt comfortable going. Always meet in a location with other people there as a safety precaution, and if you want, have friends go with you and watch from afar.
8. Filter all of your matches
I had over 200 matches on Tinder when I matched with my husband. Some were people that I never had a conversation with, some were ones I ended up not interested in, and some just never responded. It's okay to go through and filter your matches. Un-match with those that are just sitting there and you aren't interacting with. It just makes it easier to find the ones you ARE talking to and getting to know.
You may not have success right away, and some people just can't find their person on dating apps, and that's okay. Don't get discouraged if one match doesn't end up working as well as you had thought and don't settle for less. Good luck and go find love!
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