You turn the key in the ignition, hearing the engine stop. You try to sit in the car for a few more moments, ignoring your shopping confidant. Finally, it's time to leave the car and look at your next nemesis: the mall. A shopping conglomerate defining itself on fashionable clothes that most likely won’t fit your body or your style interests. Sweat prematurely crawls down your back as you follow your companion into the store. Women swarm the makeup and perfume counters and flip through clothing racks as if they had reached the holy grail of department stores. You begin to flip through a rack yourself after finding something that interests you, only to find they don’t go up to your size. You look through all the racks, only to find none of them have your size.
Walking around the store, I'll notice what the store calls a plus-size section but what I would describe as a plus-size rack. Children have their own department but women above a certain weight size are left to fend off a single rack of clothing. I leave disappointed and hoping that the next store will have what fits my needs. Only that all the department stores I visit are basically the same as the first. So instead I will try makeup.
The sales associates helping me has winged liner sharp enough it could cut you if it was three-dimensional. She doesn’t stick long with me, leaving me to fend off for myself in the jungle of matte lipstick and contour kits. Every model in the pictures is at least a size zero. Passing by one of the mirrors, I almost faint. Every pore, zit, and makeup faux pas is emphasized in the bright lights that are in every makeup section. My shopping companion rummages through some eye shadows, knowing exactly what they are looking for. There I stand though, wallowing in my double (looking more like triple in this horrendous lighting) chin and round face. Contour kits abound, I wonder if it's even possible to make myself look like the models around the store. Once again, I leave empty handed and uncomfortable.
Then, I stumble upon it. The temple of the plus-size fashion gods: a store that is designed for fashionable plus-size individuals. It doesn't happen often, in fact it feels as likely as a comet coming to hit the planet. But there it stands in front of me. All the sales associates are around your size. Their makeup is slaying anyone who dares tell them they are anything but queens of the fashionistas.Their clothes say "I'm here, and I'm fierce." Slowly, my insecurities fade away until I am hopeful. Then I dive into the clothing racks to rediscover what fashion means to me.
Fashion is a visual expression of how you view yourself and being limited can hurt your overall confidence. Finding the right store, as small as that seems, can make the world of a difference.
