Eulogy For My Fantasy Football Team
Start writing a post
Sports

Eulogy For My Fantasy Football Team

My poor, poor fantasy football team has died for too young, not because it was good but because it was anything but.

35
Eulogy For My Fantasy Football Team

Hope may spring eternal but reality will bite you like a cold Russian winter. My poor, poor fantasy football team has died for too young, not because it was good but because it was anything but.

It once seemed so promising. Ezekiel Elliot and Leonard Fournette made up my running game. The herculean Aaron Rogers was the quarterback for a second straight year and Stefan Diggs was heading up the wideouts. What on Earth could have gone so wrong? A lot, evidently.

Oh but it's not all their fault. I've spent many a night tossing and turning over my failure as a coach, the oh so many mistakes. I never should have drafted Evan Engram at tight end. I mean between Odell Beckham Jr. and Saquon Barkley, why did I think Eli would ever throw the ball to him?

I never should have started Captain Kirk Cousins against the Bills... come on, man! Never put Rogers on the bench. But who would have guessed someone had taken the time to teach Buffalo how to play football? How could I have known?

I drafted Josh Gordon. Why would anyone in their right mind draft Josh Gordon? Not even Tom Brady can save Josh Gordon and Tom Brady makes everyone look great. More importantly, why did I release and reacquire him on three separate occasions? Is that not Einstein's definition of insanity?

I dropped Matt Bryant because he looked startlingly similar to my philosophy professor. But it seems no one in the NFL bothered to add quality kickers anyway. A kicker! My kingdom for a kicker!

Ask me why I drafted Sam Darnold as my third quarterback. I don't have an answer so your guess is as good as mine. Does anyone really need three quarterbacks in the first place?

But every Sunday I weep when I see that dreaded red "O" for OUT, next to the name Fournette. I had such high hopes for the Jaguar with jackrabbit speed. Alas, my first round pick has spent more time in the E.R. than the gridiron and Adrian Peterson isn't what he used to be.

This is goodbye. Thanks for the memories... every maddening, heartbreaking, T.V. smashing, ESPN bashing memory. You will be missed and, if I'm lucky, quickly forgotten.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

Haunted Houses For Halloween In New Jersey

The Top Scariest Haunted Houses In New Jersey

10118

Residing in New Jersey enables you to participate in various activities, and everyone has a favorite. In New Jersey, Halloween is also celebrated in a spooky way. There are many scariest haunted houses in NJ to celebrate Halloween. If you want to confront your greatest fears, Halloween Scariest haunted houses are ideal.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Leaving My Backpack In The Library

Views about society and the stranger sitting right across from me

53724
https://unsplash.com/photos/O0T1SIgHAfM

As a college student, my backpack is an extension of myself in many ways. It contains my notes, pens, and computer vital for my success in college. It contains the snacks and water bottle I need to survive long days on campus. It also contains the "in-case" items that help put my mind at rest if I forgot something from home: extra hair ties, masks, and that backup-backup snack. With so much in my backpack important to me and my life on campus, it is no wonder that I can get apprehensive about it when it is not with me or in my line of sight. And that makes me wonder.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

5 Cool Gadgets To Make Your Car Smart

Don't let this stop you from making your car smart. You can change the one you have using smart gadgets that transform your car into a smart car.

110505

Cars are no longer just a mode of transport, where you only worry about the engine and how beautiful its interior is. These days, everyone wants to make their cars smarter, those with advanced technology systems. It makes sense for several reasons. It can make your vehicle more efficient and safer when you need to drive.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The Inevitable Truth of Loss

You're going to be okay.

130115

As we humans face loss and grief on a daily basis, it's challenging to see the good in all the change. Here's a better perspective on how we can deal with this inevitable feeling and why it could help us grow.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

'Venom: Let There Be Carnage' Film Review

Tom Hardy and Woody Harrelson lead a tigher, more fun sequel to 2018's 'Venom'

105604
Photo Credit: Sony Pictures Entertainment – YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FmWuCgJmxo

When Sony announced that Venom would be getting a stand-alone movie, outside of the Tom Holland MCU Spider-Man films, and intended to start its own separate shared universe of films, the reactions were generally not that kind. Even if Tom Hardy was going to take on the role, why would you take Venom, so intrinsically connected to Spider-Man's comic book roots, and remove all of that for cheap action spectacle?

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments