A few years ago I started on a journey to fall head over heels for myself. It developed after going through a hard break up and realizing that I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life judging the value of myself on whether someone else valued me. Below are some techniques that I have learned and have found useful along the way. First, I want to go over my top three tips for success:
- Self-love is not a destination; it will forever be a journey. When you are 80 years old you will most likely still have days where you get down on yourself about something or another. Focus on the moments that you love yourself and remember those moments.
- On that note, if you are having a bad day don’t be upset with yourself for it. If you find an opportunity to turn it around, take it! But if it’s just going downhill sometimes the best thing to do is let it take you down and start fresh the next day.
- Self-love is all about intention. If you wake up every day with the intention to love yourself, even if it totally goes awry, you still had those moments of meaningfulness.
These next techniques are what got me where I am today. I still have bad days but when I do I turn to these tried and true things to help me get moving and look at myself differently.
Treat Yourself like You would Treat a Significant Other
Take yourself out to dinner, buy yourself flowers, look at yourself and intentionally look for the beautiful things, treat yourself with so much respect that it’s weird. I like to think of this as living your life as if you have already found your soulmate and that soulmate is you!
Take A Day
Treat yourself to a day of doing something that you love. Don’t do homework, don’t have any obligations, totally give yourself permission to just be. For me, I like to pamper myself. I eat a nice breakfast, workout, and take a bath. I read my book, put on a face mask and zone out. I try to do this once a month, more often if I can get the chance. For you it might be having a video game marathon, going camping for the weekend, spending the day by yourself in the library reading endless amounts of books. Make sure that whatever you do if it is something that makes you happy and that you are doing it with the intention of showing yourself love.
Take A Minute
If you are like me and don’t normally have time to take a whole day to show yourself some TLC, here is my advice to you. Practice taking a moment. Consciously take one minute out of your day to just be with yourself. Check in with your body, take a couple of deep breaths and close your eyes. Even better, pop in some ear buds and take the length of your favorite song. Don’t think about school or work or what you are doing that night. Give yourself permission to chill.
Talk to Yourself
I know this sounds so kooky but looking at yourself in the mirror and telling yourself that you love yourself is so good for you. It’s been scientifically proven to improve your self-esteem. There is no better way to ensure that it is getting in your head. What do you like about your body and your personality? Tell yourself! If talking to yourself isn’t your thing, writing it down is just as effective, that’s what I prefer for sure.
Be Grateful
I try to switch between this and the previous technique every day. Even if you are not intentionally in a place where you want to love yourself more this is an awesome thing to do, it is guaranteed to give you the warm fuzzies. Make a list of ten things you are grateful for. It can be literally anything. Mine range from my family and the food on my table to red lipstick and Peyton Manning’s butt. It can always be longer but I suggest starting with at least ten things. Really in a bad place? Don’t sweat it, do as many as you can. I find that once I start I end with a list that is way longer than I intended it to be.
Respect Your Body
For me, the best way to show myself love has been respecting my body. Eating well, exercising and sleeping has become a huge part of my self-love routine. It was so hard for me to make my health a priority but when I did it made all the difference. Making food and going to the gym became an act of love. Having a bedtime ritual was such a loving thing to do for myself. This is also where basic self-care comes into play, just taking your medication can be an act of respect towards your body. I can’t tell you how much of a difference this made for me.
Appreciate EVERYTHING about Yourself
I know it can be hard when you don’t like yourself that much, believe me I’ve been there. Give more love to the parts of yourself that you don’t like. For example, I am insecure about my hips. I see them as too wide while others might look at me and think I’m totally proportionate. When I am making my gratitude list or I am making a list of things I like about myself I try to include my hips, even though a lot of the time it’s not true. Whatever you don’t like about yourself, make sure that you keep telling yourself that you do, figure what is good about having that attribute and sink your teeth into it.
I hope these tips were helpful to you. If you are looking for more resources I would suggest Gala Darling, She taught me almost everything I know about self-love. A wonderful artist and motivator and a truly down to earth presence. Check her out on her website or on social media.
Lots of light my loves,
M D-H
