I can't continue to be the one who is putting my all into our friendship. We've been friends for years now and I am so afraid of losing you! You're my best friend and I don't know what I would do without you! We've shared some amazing memories, but lately, I haven't been able to enjoy myself around you. You're changing. I know that I am too, but it's not as drastic as you. You're no longer about your friends and family. You're all about you and your boyfriend. If you try to deny it then you're just lying to yourself.

This has been bothering me for months, even before you got into your relationship, but now it's reaching the point of no return. I'm constantly aggravated with everything you do because you're screwing everything up. You're trying to justify idiotic actions. You're partaking in things that you shouldn't be part of. You're letting people who don't care about you into your life and then try to make excuses as to why you're still friends with them. I've been there to guide you and everyone can see that our friendship has made you into a better person. But I can't stand that I have helped you with so much and I'm being repaid with ignored messages, cancelled plans, or having you completely ditch me without a word. Sometimes you make it seem as though you're so excited to see me and then you never solidify any plans or call me to make sure things are still going to happen. I'm constantly waiting for you and it's tiring. I don't want to be sitting back waiting for you to be free. It shouldn't be so hard for a girl to see her supposed "best friend".

The only way I can see you anymore is if I suck it up and third wheel with you and him. Then I feel like the odd one out with someone who is supposed to be my best friend. You don't know me anymore because you don't care to check up on me. Even when it is just you and me, you constantly talk about how much you miss him. You're always talking about him and it drives me crazy!

I truly am happy for you. You've found someone you can call yours and who accepts most of the things you want in life, but not all of them. You can say you're in "love" even though I still don't think you really know what it is. You're only ever present when he's around, but if it's just you and I you're always thinking about the next time you can see him. Or what your next date will be. Or how you're going to leave early so you can see him, which, you have done to me and it really hurt once I found out. I get it. He's your world and all you know right now, but don't forget that there are supposed to be more than two people in that world of yours. It can't just be you and him because let's face it, it's young love and it probably won't last.

You can say I'm a pessimist, or that I'm jealous, but I'm trying to look out for you. I've known you for so long and you have never needed a man in your life, but now you act as though you need him to survive. Your world is spinning off its axis without him and you need him every second of every day so that things will go smoothly. It's all about you and him and anyone else who wants your attention won't get it anymore.

You and I have talked about this before. I finally had enough and decided it was time to tell you how I felt. Tell you how I felt like I was always being put second. How you're going against what you told me in the beginning that you wouldn't let a guy take you away from your friends. How you have made me feel so unimportant that I no longer want to see you or talk to you or confide in you. Whenever I do try to talk to you, it feels as though I'm talking to a brick wall. Everything I say isn't actually reaching you because you just deflect it. You avoid the conversations even though I am clearly upset about something. It's been a long time since I've been happy, and the whole time you have been oblivious to my pain. I shouldn't have to have a total meltdown in order for you to show some kind of concern. I shouldn't have to be crying for you to actually look at me and attempt to listen to me. I've needed my best friend for a while now and you're nowhere to be found. I've held so much in because I don't want to burden you or take away from your happiness, but I can only hold back so much. At some point I'll need to talk to someone and if you're not there once again, then I'll be done.

I can't handle being put last to my friends' significant others because I need them. I don't have a family to turn to. I don't have a boyfriend who can hold me and tell me everything will be alright. I've lost the most important people in my life who used to be there for me and now I'm trying to fill those voids with people I think can handle it. I thought you would be there for me even if you had someone else you had to give attention to. I thought you'd be better at managing more than one person in your life. I gave you a lot of credit only to have that backfire on me. I got my hopes up with you and now all you do is constantly let me down when I need you the most.

I love you to death and would do anything for you, but I can't see you doing the same for me. That's why this is so difficult for me. Do I continue to let someone who is supposed to help pick me up, destroy me? Do I walk away from someone who needs me? Do I stick around and hope for the best and try not to get let down? Do I try to remember the good times and keep putting in my all only to have nothing returned? Or do I just give up on you and let you move on from me with the person you have obviously invested everything in?

Whatever I do, I know your heart isn't big enough to let in many people. So I either have to try to be one of those few people, or open up a space for someone who is more important than I am.