All The Things My Scrunchie Has Seen

Let me say "I'm sorry you had to see this", but also "you're welcome", in advance.

Teylor Veliotis

Jun 30, 2019

Fordham University

416

selfie by me

Let's see what you see:

1. The millions of germs having an orgy on the handles of the Subway

Let's not think about this too much.

2. All the stamps I accumulate on the backs of my hands from clubs

Giphy

But we can just tell my parents they're from something else.

3. The dust bunnies under my bed when I accidentally lost you for a day

I missed you.

4. Ariana Grande—eight times, to be exact

sweetener world tour - brooklyn, ny

teylor veliotis

My hands were in the air and so were you.

5. The inside of the nasty washers and dryers in my dorm’s communal laundry room

You may have fallen inside a couple of times; I deeply apologize.

6. The crumbs hidden beneath my keyboard from late-night snacking whilst watching Netflix

Don't judge me.

7. The dozens of Fordham cats I pet on a daily basis

emily andrade

You haven't gotten rabies yet, have you?

8. How dirty my hair really is when I try to hide it by wearing it up

I guess I'm not fooling everybody.

9. My fresh manicures

teylor veliotis

Nails on fleek.

10. All the terrible pickup lines I’ve had the misfortune of encountering

Bumble is pretty spooky.

11. The passengers I drive around when I’m working the campus shuttle

olivia valkenburg

Thanks for keeping me company.

12. The countless number of bagels I get from Best Deli

I just can't resist.

13. The city views from New York rooftops

Nicholas Daleo

Truly blessed.

14. The surgeons and nurses who took out my tonsils

I was too unconscious to meet them.

15. All my homework

Giphy

Trust me, I'm not a huge fan, either.

16. The inside of the mini UV beds at the nail salon

Don't look straight into the light!

17. My passwords

Giphy

Let's hope you can keep a secret.

18. All the money I spend on online shopping

I'd like to keep this between us.

19. How gross I look when I first wake up in the morning

Please tell me you still love me.

20. The times I get left on read

Giphy

Embarrassing…

21. A close-up view of me putting on my contact lenses

Gross, I know.

22. The bottom of my swimming pool

teylor veliotis

You've reached some serious depths.

23. The stubble on my legs before I shave them

At least I'm not the only one who has to see this.

24. Your scrunchie friends when I’m hanging out with my friends

emma kowaleski

Saturdays are for the scrunchies.

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All The Things My Scrunchie Has Seen

Let me say "I'm sorry you had to see this", but also "you're welcome", in advance.

1. The millions of germs having an orgy on the handles of the Subway

2. All the stamps I accumulate on the backs of my hands from clubs

3. The dust bunnies under my bed when I accidentally lost you for a day

4. Ariana Grande—eight times, to be exact

5. The inside of the nasty washers and dryers in my dorm’s communal laundry room

6. The crumbs hidden beneath my keyboard from late-night snacking whilst watching Netflix

7. The dozens of Fordham cats I pet on a daily basis

8. How dirty my hair really is when I try to hide it by wearing it up

9. My fresh manicures

10. All the terrible pickup lines I’ve had the misfortune of encountering

11. The passengers I drive around when I’m working the campus shuttle

12. The countless number of bagels I get from Best Deli

13. The city views from New York rooftops

14. The surgeons and nurses who took out my tonsils

15. All my homework

16. The inside of the mini UV beds at the nail salon

17. My passwords

18. All the money I spend on online shopping

19. How gross I look when I first wake up in the morning

20. The times I get left on read

21. A close-up view of me putting on my contact lenses

22. The bottom of my swimming pool

23. The stubble on my legs before I shave them

24. Your scrunchie friends when I’m hanging out with my friends

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How humanity discovers new ways to commit the same old sins

2. Sin isn’t purely about the malfunction; it’s essentially about the faulty wiring.

5. Wisdom weighs all the facts, not just the convenient ones.

6. The devil likes to traffic in fear, but it’s not his immediate go-to, because he knows that fearful people often cry out for help, which means fearful people are very close to having their ears open to divine rescue.

7. TRUTH IS CENTERING. THE TRUTH IS STABILIZING. The truth is clarifying. That is, if we are willing to upend our devotion to our preferred version of the truth. If we are not, the truth is disorienting, disturbing, and confounding.

8. Forgiving people do get taken advantage of. But unforgiving people, Paul said in verse 11, get taken advantage of by Satan!

9. When power becomes your god, you’ll do as much biblical gymnastics as it takes to get it or keep it.

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