My family and I love to watch "Modern Family," and there is an episode during which Claire and Phil Dunphy, two of the show's protagonists, each try to prove that they are "the fun parent" because "you can't have two fun parents." My parents have adopted their argument, and it has become a running joke in my family. They both try to prove their "funness" in various goofy ways, and the champion of the battle changes often. Having fun is one of the many lessons they've taught me throughout my life, and these lessons remain important in my life today. Here are 10 lessons my parents have taught me that are often lost in the chaos of today's world.
1. Be yourself.
I love my parents more than anything in this world, but they do have their quirks. For one thing, my mom is a pretty terrible singer. And she knows it, too. Every time she sings along to the radio, once the song is over, she asks, "Was that better? How did I do?" If it's not her pitch that's wrong, (which it usually is), it's her words. She sings what she wants and "what feels right" and doesn't worry about the lyrics some Hollywood songwriter was paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to create. The best part about her, however, is that she could not care less about her lack of singing talent. When we tell her she doesn't sound so great, that only makes her sing louder. She teaches me to be myself and embrace my weirdness and I am very grateful for it.
2. Quitting is not an option.
My mom and dad were the parents who made me stick it out. "It" could be anything from hip hop dance class (which I was awful at) to soccer (which I was worse at than dance) to knitting class (yes, I took this and yes, I was terrible). If I signed up for something and made a commitment, I would never dream of dropping out early. This was especially important if it was a team activity. My parents taught me about the importance of doing your part for a group and not letting people down who are relying on you.
3. Nothing replaces hard work
Every Mother's Day for the past five or so years, my mom's only wish is to spend the day clearing the yard "without any complaints" from me or my sister. So, Mother's Day has become a day of raking, weeding, spreading mulch, cutting branches and cleaning up all the damage done throughout the cold New England winter. My parents believe in working hard for themselves, so while they could hire a landscaper or even a few high school kids looking to make some cash to do this job, they save the work for our family. My dad has even taught my sister and I how to use tools and has shown us that our own two hands can get the job done. I have learned that my own hard work can go a long way and that I am more than capable of completing these tasks.
4. You can be as happy as you want to be.
This is my mom's mantra. Whenever I had something going on when I was younger that I wasn't super excited about, like practice or a family party with people I didn't know very well, I was quick to complain. Her repeated response to these complaints was, "It'll be as fun as you make it." She taught me to make the best of every situation and that only I can change my attitude to improve my mood.
5. Your mind is powerful.
My dad is truly one of the smartest people I know, and his intelligence is not solely due to his education. He is a successful engineer and is a smart man because of his degree without a doubt. But what I admire even more about my dad is that he always seeks to develop his intelligence. He spends his free time reading articles and learning about everything from politics to technology to global issues. He regularly shares articles with my sister, my mom and me about something interesting he has come across. He sees learning as a lifelong process and has taught me that a well-developed mind can do wonders.
6. Do what you love.
When I began the college application process, I became very overwhelmed by the future and everything that was coming very quickly. I distinctly remember my dad sitting down with me one night and saying, "Ry, you can do whatever you want to do. If you want to be the girl who caps the toothpaste tubes in the toothpaste factory, I hope you're the best toothpaste capper they've ever seen and I'll support you the whole way." My parents have always supported me unconditionally and I am immensely grateful for that. They've taught me to follow my passion, even if that passion is toothpaste.
7. Be humble.
My mom is an elementary school teacher, and has been since before I was born. She is very talented at what she does, and her colleagues always praise her skill in her profession. Despite the high praises she receives from those in her field, she never lets it get to her head. She constantly works to improve her instruction or her lesson planning to provide the best environment for her students. She has taught me that, no matter how successful or talented you are, there is always room for improvement.
8. You are entitled to nothing, but can have everything.
This is very similar to the value my parents place on hard work. My generation has become not-so-affectionately known as the "Gimme Generation," meaning that people my age think they are entitled to the advantages and blessings in their life. My parents have worked hard to remove feelings of entitlement from my sister and me. They are quick to remind us that the only way to achieve anything is with effort and dedication and that we can do whatever we want, but only if we are willing to put in the hard work to get there.
9. You only live once.
Sometimes, I think my parents beat Drake to the punch on this one. In high school, and still in college, I was always a very focused student. My discipline in my schoolwork took over my life at points throughout high school, and I sometimes missed out on fun experiences because I thought that schoolwork was more important. While my parents had very high expectations for my grades and performance in school, they always reminded me that experiences outside of class are equally as important as good grades. They taught me to balance school and fun and showed me that in the grand scheme of life, I'll remember the state championship football game over the A on a physics test.
10. Laugh hard and often
Finally, and probably most importantly, my parents are two of the funniest and goofiest people I know. My dad is the master of the dad joke, but is also a very good story teller and has me crying laughing more often than not. My mom, on the other hand, usually laughs so hard through her stories that I can't help but laugh with her. Despite the curveballs life throws at my parents, they handle everything with grace and perspective, realizing that the struggles are temporary but the love is permanent. They find the silver lining in most situations, and I am grateful for their laughter and smiles when I go home.
I am embarrassed to say that my appreciation for my parents was not fully developed until I left for college, but I am so grateful for the perspective I now have to see all that they've done for and taught me. I could not feel more lucky to have these two wonderful people in my corner, and I hope they know how deeply my gratitude runs. Thanks for everything, Mom and Dad, you both rock.
