After a couple years of college I found out that I have social anxiety. Going through college can be hard and when you add a mental illness on top of that, it can be a real struggle. Here are some things that I found extremely difficult that most people find a walk in the park.
1. Getting up to throw something away in the middle of class
This in theory should be so easy, and yet your mind goes in all different directions abut what people are thinking about you and how everybody is going to be staring at you. so you sit in your seat holding your apple core until you can pass the trash can on your way out the door.
2. Phone calls
The feeling of your heartbeat in your chest as the phone is ringing, being terrified that you'll make some mistake when ordering your pizza and they'll start laughing at you. or when you have to call your grandma and don't know what to say so you just sit there in silence, at least they can't see how much you're sweating.
3. One word: presentations
You definitely don't understand why this is a necessary part of school, is this just teachers being too lazy to teach so they make you do it instead? Having people staring at you, knowing that if you mess up everyone will know and you will look like an idiot.
4. The words, "you're always invited"
When you have social anxiety, it's hard to interact with people, you always feel like you're annoying them just by existing. and even though they have told you a number of times that they enjoy being around you, whenever they're talking about going to Starbucks you don't know if you're allowed to go or not, maybe them not inviting you is their way of saying they don't actually like hanging out with you? And yet, as they're headed out the door they look at you like "are you coming". and the next time, the thoughts go through your mind all over again.
5. People whispering
Whenever you see someone whispering in the corner and laughing, your mind always jumps to the conclusion that they are talking about you.
6. Raising your hand in class
Whenever your professor or teacher says that participation is a big part of your grade you freak out a bit. You don't know why raising your hand is so hard, but yet you can't quite get the courage to raise your hand even to answer the simplest of questions, for fear you'll get it wrong, or that people will laugh at you. If you forget to raise your hand to ask a question, I bet everyone but you know the answer to the questions and they are secretly judging you for asking it.
7. Going to parties
Having social anxiety can make social situations really hard. Parties are the worst, there are people everywhere. dancing and laughing, and if your friends leave you, you feel so alone.
8. Doctor appointments
Looking at your mom when you're asked a question, like she would know how you're doing.
9. Going places alone
You don't know why but it's hard to go places by yourself but for some reason you think that everybody's going to judge you or think you don't have any friends.
10. Being attracted to people
Now this is hard for most people but for some reason it's 10 times harder for people with social anxiety. you just know that you're going to mess something up, if you even get up the courage to talk to them.
