This is your home now. It’s an empty dark room. No decorations and no windows. All the lights are turned off, it’s pitch black. There is no furniture, so you have to sit on the cold, hard wooden floor. There’s no one there with you, so you have no one to talk to or ask for help. You’re waiting for someone to come in, turn the lights on, and hug you while saying “everything is going to be okay.” They can’t come in because the door’s locked. Sometimes you hear these voices in the room and so naturally you get scared. Sometimes you get so scared that you scream, but no one on the outside of the room can hear you. This is room is cold so you find yourself shivering a lot, holding your knees to your chest to keep some kind of body warmth.
This room is soundproof so nothing gets in and sadly, nothing gets out. The voices in your room aren’t ghosts or some sort of magical creature you read about when you were a child. They the voices that you hear every day of your life. They’re made to sound that way so that it doesn’t scare, however, it still does because it’s the things that the voices are saying. The voices are saying things that make you question everything you ever knew. The voices tell you things that what you believe might be the truth. They tell you that you’re worthless, they tell you that life would be easier for everyone else if you weren’t alive, and they even bring up the past and dwell on it when you’re trying to move on. They’re shouting, screaming, and tormenting you. Quite naturally, you start crying because you’re sensitive and you can’t handle it all.
Every once in a while, you get to leave your room to go to class, go to the store, or to work. It may sound great at first, but once you see everyone’s smiling faces, positive attitudes, and successful lives, you quickly begin to envy them. You don’t want anyone to notice that you’ve been crying, so you wear a mask every time you leave your room. Your mask has a happy face on it so you can blend in with everyone else. You want what they have. You want to be able to escape your empty dark room and live your life the way you’re supposed to live it. It angers you when they complain about their lives or take something for granted that you would kill for. You try to tell others what you’re going through, but they don’t believe you. They think you’re crazy or that you’re seeking attention, so you just ignore them and their lack of support and go back to your empty dark room to lay down on your back and let the voices attack you.
Sometimes, you meet people that walk into your life and they leave footprints on your heart. This isn’t necessarily a boyfriend or girlfriend. Sometimes it’s just a really good friend who listens to what you have to say and just cares in general. In a way, they’re like a superhero who kicks in the door to your empty dark room and saves you from all the voices that were screaming at you. They’re kind, they’re loving, and they just want to show that things do get better. These people are very rare, so if you find one, hang on to them!
Depression is not about being overly emotional or overly sensitive. Sadly, this is the stigma attached to it. In fact, sadness is just one part of it. One cannot define what depression exactly is but can only try to help towards the situation. In a recent study, one out of three college students admitted to having suicidal thoughts or having thoughts of worthlessness. Luckily, colleges and universities around the country have adopted some kind of counseling services for students who are battling depression and other mental illnesses. If you or someone you know is feeling depressed or having thoughts of suicide, CONTACT HELP. Getting someone the help they need or even just talking to them could possibly save their life…
