I've been driving for 5 years now, and I've noticed a pattern with people I share the road with. I am by no means the best driver out there, but these things that people do all around us, just give Long Island drivers a bad name.

1. Turn signals? What turn signals?

2. Lane lines are negotiable, so they'll drive in both.

3. Parking lots are an asshole's playpen. Anything can happen, so watch out.

4. On the parkway, beware of decked-out Honda Civics speeding and swerving and looking too darn cool.

5. The ones with the nicest cars are usually sixteen-year-olds.

6. When an elderly person is behind the wheel, it's best if you get off the road.

7. Pedestrians couldn't care less about you. Holding yourself back from hitting one is a daily struggle.

8. You know you're driving behind a mother with three kids (all from various schools), who runs half-marathons, has been to Montauk, and didn't rescue her dog but was rescued by it... all because of the stickers on her mini-van.

9. The horn is your best friend.

10. Traffic. Traffic everywhere.

11. Parking doesn't really matter, so just close your eyes and go for it. That's how most of us do it, anyway.

12. Driving anywhere else is such a strange experience. What? People signal to change lanes and get out of your way in the left lane? Unheard of.

Be safe on the roads. Worry less about your driving, and more about the driving of those around you. Driving on Long Island requires patience and a special skill like nowhere else.