Being in a community such like college, I have come to the quick realization that everyone, and I mean everyone, is at drastically different points in their lives. I know people who are married and living on their own with kids, and then I know people who depend and rely on their mom and dad to pay for their groceries and tuition. All these people are my age. I’ve noticed that relationships are a common thing that people emphasize around me. When are you going to get married? Why aren’t you meeting new people? Are you dating? The questions I continuously receive in the community about my relationship status is astounding.
But why does everyone care so much about a relationship that I do not want?
Coming into university, I was in a long term relationship. While I ended things after a year of long distance, I noticed a feeling of liberation. Freedom. Happiness. Solitude. Feelings that I have not felt in a very long time. And it is always around times like Valentine’s Day and Wedding Season where people feel the need to pity me for not being in a “happy, loving, close relationship”. Well, here’s something that most people do not understand.
I don’t want a boyfriend.
Being with a person in a romantic relationship is a lot of stress and work. Being at university, I already struggle to balance school work and my social life and my sleep schedule. Adding another responsibility will ruin the slow but steady balance that I am trying to create for myself. People always are quick to assume that relationships make you happy. That you can’t be happy on your own. Wrong. I love being single. I love being able to come home and not worry about the consequences of not looking at my phone for eight hours or not texting someone or not making plans with my significant other. It has been so many years since I have been able to focus on myself and for the first time, I am starting to love myself. I notice society lacks in the importance of self-love. It’s hard to be in a relationship that is in need of constant reassurance and security. I don’t want someone else to buy me things. (But let’s be honest, who doesn’t like free things?) I don’t want another responsibility on my plate. I don’t want another worry. I don’t want to have other people involved in my life romantically. I don’t want to risk friendships and emotions for someone who, quite frankly, will not be worth it in the future. What I want in a significant other right now, will most likely not be what I want in a significant other in two years. Five years. Ten years.
I don’t want a boyfriend. I don’t want a relationship. I am already happy now, why should I change that?
