Don't Try To Be Popular, It's Disappointing

Don't Try To Be Popular, It's Disappointing

If you have never been “cool” a day in your life, then congratulations!

I have experienced all different social statuses - from angsty emo to popular (and a little in between). Through these experiences I’ve learned something pretty valuable: Popularity is disappointing.

If you have never been “cool” a day in your life, then congratulations! You have not felt the disappointment of popularity. This idea that popularity will somehow fulfill you is one of the biggest lies I have ever heard. The first disappointment is that there will always be someone who is cooler than you, there will never be a time you are satisfied with your position.

Another disappointment is that your true friends are revealed when life gets hard. You see, when tough times come, the people who like you because you are popular suddenly disappear.

The biggest disappointment of all is that when you are so concerned with whether or not others like you, you lose who you really are. Your identity is shoved deep below a garbage pile of parties, music choices, clothing, and hair that is not your own.

Instead of doing what gives you joy, you miss out on building meaningful relationships with the people around you.

You leave the ones who are offering you real love in the dust, along with your integrity and dignity. Eventually, your choices will leave you feeling empty and alone.

The alternative to all of this is being yourself. I know, it sounds like an after-school special on tv, but that does not make it any less true. There is something so freeing and enjoyable about being who God made you to be. Instead of flaking on plans you made with friends for yet another party, you could enjoy the company of people who actually care for you.

[Just to make this clear: I am not against drinking or parties. I think that alcohol, in moderation, is just fine. But doing things like that to become cooler is ridiculous].

If you stopped trying to convince others how cool you were, you could find joy and inspiration in life, and your identity in Christ instead of in the social status you have acquired. Because at the end of the day, you are the one living with yourself.

Wouldn’t you like to have confidence in the person you are becoming? Wouldn’t it be nice to feel comfortable in your own skin? There is no promise here that it will be instantaneous, it might take some time, but I promise it will be worth it. Instead of waiting with bated breath for Thirsty Thursday comes around, you will find excitement in every day.

You will be pleasantly surprised by all of the people who have your back, no matter what.

So, you do you boo! Wear the clothes you like, listen to the music that brings you joy, don’t be afraid to show that you are a work in progress. Be present in life with friends and family. Worry less about how your actions will make others like you and find out what makes you like you.

Have you ever felt like you weren't cool enough? Do you think that my whole theory on popularity is wrong? Tell me in the comments below - be nice, or not. It's your choice! :)

Cover Image Credit: Gabriel Gerstenkorn

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Everything You Will Miss If You Commit Suicide

The world needs you.

You won't see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.

Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.

You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.

You won't laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.

You won't go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.

They'll miss you. They'll cry.

You won't fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.

You won't get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.

You won't be there to wipe away your mother's tears when she finds out that you're gone.

You won't be able to hug the ones that love you while they're waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.

You won't be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.

Instead, they will be at yours.

You won't find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.

You won't celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.

You won't turn another year older.

You will never see the places you've always dreamed of seeing.

You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.

This will be the last sunset you see.

You'll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges, and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.

If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.

This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.

This is who will care about you when you are gone.

You can change lives. But I hope it's not at the expense of yours.

We care. People care.

Don't let today be the end.

You don't have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It's not wrong to ask for help.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.

Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I'm sure you're no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won't do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you'll be fine." Because when they aren't, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

Cover Image Credit: Brittani Norman

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Being Ugly

What it means to me


Due to a series of ongoing events throughout my semester, I've reconsidered what it means for someone to truly be ugly. Though it is often used in terms of appearance, I do not see it as such-- now more than ever. Ugliness runs deeper than appearance-- it runs within one's soul and festers into other areas of one's life, particularly in their treatment of others.

I view ugliness as someone's conscious capacity and implementation of malice. Taking time and energy out of your day to hurt someone else, that's what I view as ugly. Some offenses are more minor than others, however, it is still a conscious effort to hurt or affect someone else negatively-- and that's the source of the problem. I truly wonder what causes that sort of behavior in someone, as I, along with most people, simply do not invest time or energy into hating or plotting against others. It seems like a full-time job.

I can theorize all sorts of reasons as to why someone would act this way: hate, jealousy, vengeance, etc. Yet, all of these reasons don't hit the root reason. It almost seems that some people are just innately ugly in their soul. This alludes to the timeless debate of whether one's personality is due to nature or nurture. Again, although our surroundings and environment do have a large effect in our behavior, that alibi only goes so far when multiple people are placed in the same environment, in the same situation, and only some are willing to cross moral boundaries in order to hurt the others. Just because an environment applies pressure to people, does not mean everyone is going to act out in malice, and it certainly does not give everyone an excuse to do so. Some people are simply conniving and, well, ugly inside.

If you have ever encountered people like this, I know from personal experience that it is such a drag. You have an enemy, essentially, whether you chose to or not, however based on their hatred towards you, they are now considered an enemy, a hater, and any other associated term. Know that they will do anything in their power to bring you down, even if it requires bending the truth and creating elaborate schemes, but you have to keep on doing you. Let them obsess over ways to bring you down. At the end of the day, their time and energy is being invested into bringing you down, while yours is being used to build yourself up. They will fall by default. So, keep your head high, act in grace, and make your money. They can sip on their Haterade and watch from below.

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