If You Dumped Your Girlfriend, Don't Try To Talk To Her
Start writing a post

If You Dumped Her, Then Let Her Be

It's OK to want the best for her, but if you don't want her, then retreat.

If You Dumped Her, Then Let Her Be

The thing about breakups is that they are an end to something. They stop friendships in their tracks, cut off emotions, and strip you and your partner of the title "significant other."

One of the strangest and most difficult parts is cutting contact with one another. It's when you go from talking all the time, texting, Snapchatting and calling one another to absolute radio silence.

That would be the normal response, but what about the exes that never really go away? The ones that hover around you and keep in touch with you, even while your heart is on the mend?

For whatever reason, sometimes exes don't actually leave. They break up with you. They give you some sad reason, ranging from their lack of feelings for you to why you're not the one. Then they feed you lines about what a great person you are and tell you that they want to remain friends. And they actually try to remain friends!

Here's the thing, guys. You're not helping.

If her heart is on the mend, it's on the mend.

You're right, she is an absolutely fantastic person. She is funny and smart and caring. She is an amazing friend. She's an amazing cook. And she does your laundry better than you ever could.

But do you really think you're doing her any favors by following her around? What do you gain from keeping tabs on her? You Snapchat her flirty comments, randomly "drop by" her apartment and send texts to "check in."

I get it. You want her to be happy. You want to make sure she's OK. You want the best for her. You just don't want her.

You're allowed to want more for her. You're allowed to care about her and want someone to treat her right. You're allowed to be curious and want to know that she's OK. You just can't ask her.

When you hang around, you don't give her heart a chance to forget you. When you remain curious about her, you don't give her room to heal from how you hurt her. You make her even more confused.

Your intentions might be clear to you. You know that you're just making sure she's OK. But to her, you regret breaking up. There's no way she won't confuse that.

Maybe you really are conflicted. And if so, figure it out before you come talk to her. Otherwise, keep it to yourself.

You're probably a really decent guy, with nothing but pure intentions and love for someone you once dated. But you're doing her a disservice but following her around. You're leaving her accidental breadcrumbs, and she's going to follow your trail. Don't tease her with food when you intend to cut her off.

Maybe you really can be friends again someday, but give her some time before you make that choice for her. Give her heart a break. Give her head a break. Give it all a break.

It's OK to want the best for her, but if you don't want her, then retreat.

Don't hang around. Don't "check in." Don't drop by her apartment or send her texts to ask about her life. Don't give her a reason to still love you. Because that is so unfair.

You broke up with her, so let her be. She deserves peace and clarity, and all you're dishing out is confusion.

It's OK to miss her. Just shut up.

She knows she's a good person. You're not the person she needs to hear that from. So, from now on, try gifting her with silence.

She will be OK.

Report this Content

That's right, you heard that correctly: Demi Lovato and Max Ehrich called off their engagement after the couple originally announced their engagement in July after beginning to date in March.

Keep Reading... Show less

Demi Lovato's Called-Off Engagement Reminds Us Of The Importance Of Taking Our Time In Relationships

While this may be another hardship she sadly has to endure, I know she will find a way to inspire and help others through it.


I am heartbroken.

Keep Reading... Show less

Freshly popped buttered popcorn in your lap and a glass full of crisp Coca-Cola is at your side. All the lights are turned off and you are tucked into a cozy blanket. You have the whole day off and no responsibilities besides refilling your popcorn bucket. Now all you have to do is decide on what movie to watch, but you know one movie will not fulfill your need of relaxing all day. A movie marathon is the only answer to your problem. In case you did not know what movie series to start with, try a few of these.

Keep Reading... Show less
A Touch Of Teal

It's the oldest story in the world: one day a new tv show comes on and you fall in love with each character and their story. In 2003, the show "One Tree Hill" was born and stole the hearts of fans of many ages. Torn between the sweet, underdog Lucas and tough, popular boy Nathan, people became hooked through the family and relationship drama the characters went through.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

12 Starbucks Iced Drinks You NEED In Your Life

Must-try beverages brought to you by your local barista.


Be kind to your baristas, they can make you some pretty great drinks. With the temperature rising and the days getting longer, it's approaching the time to find your summer staple to keep you cool (and caffeinated) over the next few months.

Keep Reading... Show less

"Keeping Up With The Kardashians" is coming to an end after 20 seasons of intense drama, family bonding, and Scott Disick. It's sad for some and a relief for others who find the show way overhyped.

Keep Reading... Show less

Starbucks is known for its infamous coffee and espresso drinks, but they're definitely isn't enough love shown for the non-coffee drinks. Being a barista myself, I've come to try all of the following drinks. And let me tell you…they're amazing. So if you aren't a huge fan of coffee or if you're just sick of the same old same old, here are some new drinks to keep your inner white girl alive and thriving.

SEE MORE: Starbucks Has Chocolate-Covered Strawberry Cold Brew And OMG It Has Pink Foam

Keep Reading... Show less

What was usually buried at the bottom of my purse has now become a pocket essential — and I know I'm not alone in that.

It used to be something I'd use if I happened to be at a restaurant that ran out of soap in their bathroom, but now it's almost more essential to have on-hand at all times than my cell phone.

Keep Reading... Show less

The decision-makers of Yale's law students have invested in therapy dog sessions in order to reduce stress. In 2011, Yale Law Library had a sign-out sheet for their certified library dog. The 30-minute sessions were equipped with unconditional, stress-busting puppy love.

Law Librarian Blair Kauffman stated that the free, three-day pilot pet therapy program at Yale Law Library launched as "a positive addition to current services offered by the library."

Keep Reading... Show less

I have been working at Dunkin' Donuts for over two years, and during this time, I have progressed from regular crew member to crew coach, and finally, to shift leader. Among my great skills involving the job is my ability to deal with stressful situations, including awful customers. My boss has continuously pointed out the fact that I am able to handle these people with grace and kindness. She herself often finds that she gets snippy with rude customers, but somehow I am able to keep a straight face through these tough times.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments