It happens to the best of us: we “break up” with a significant other but don’t break it off completely. Breakups suck. They hurt, but that isn’t a reason not to fully remove yourself from the situation.

After the initial moment of breaking up, there is hurt on both ends. So, do you throw out everything that reminds you of them? Stalk them on all forms of social media? Keep talking to make it easier?

Sometimes it’s better to stay “friends,” but is that really possible? Maybe it is after you’ve had time alone, without contact, to deal with your emotions and recuperate. You can always have a place in your heart for this person, but you don’t need to talk to them every day and try to move straight into the friend zone after a breakup.

More likely than not, it isn’t going to happen. The hurt might lessen if you continue talking or maybe hooking up, but it just prolongs the whole process of breaking it off. All of this keeps you in a weird place in-between dating and single, which just frustrates everyone.

What if someone suggests the idea of just “taking a break?” Personally, I don’t believe in breaks. It’s almost like an excuse to try and see if you can make it being single. Are people still going to think you’re hot? Do you still have game? Then, if you come back after that break, it’s almost like being the second choice. Does that mean they couldn’t make it in the single world and this is just easier, more comfortable?

Maybe you want to meet up to have a conversation for “closure” purposes. What even is closure? This conversation doesn’t necessarily lead to any grand sense of peace that automatically makes you stop hurting. You might feel better, you could feel worse, but you still need to take time on your own to deal with your emotions.

Ultimately, a “fake up” isn’t healthy for anyone involved. You broke up for a reason or multiple reasons. Maybe you’re just not compatible or can’t come to a compromise.

Either way, it doesn’t help anyone if you cry to your friends about how much it hurts that you aren’t with your (ex)boyfriend but continue to text him daily. As much as it sucks, hurting once and trying to get over it is better than the cost of being hurt over and over again by continuing a fake relationship.