This week, I wanted to touch on a topic that has had me in a state of constant anxiety the past couple of months. It’s something I’ve had to do a little soul searching on to realize it can’t define my self-worth. This topic is success.
As college students, I feel like we’re all so anxious by our sophomore year about what internships we need to get, getting involved in as much as we can handle and making sure our grades are up to par just so we can keep up with the pack… at the age of 18 and 19 years old. We’re already stressed out about what we’ll be doing in 10 years when we hardly even know who we are as adults. We don’t give ourselves time to look around and truly enjoy where we are in life. We don’t give ourselves time to grow into who we want to be. It’s just a constant state of comparing ourselves to our peers and what good does that do us?
I’ll be the first to admit that I do this on a daily basis. I’m constantly looking at my peers who I feel are on the road to success and think, “I want that. I wish I was in their position.” I’ve always been one to get anxiety over the thought of failing, or the idea that no matter how hard I try, there will always be the candidate that knows the CEO or the candidate who is just a little bit “better” than me. I’ve only recently realized this mindset is my own worst enemy.
Why should I let someone I hardly know affect me professionally just because they seem more put together than me? Why should I get anxiety over situations I cannot change? I’ve recently started to understand that my mindset should be: “I am a hardworking, talented candidate and whoever hires me will be lucky to have me.” I shouldn’t be praising anyone but myself because while I should be my biggest critic, I should also be my biggest supporter.
Success isn’t the defining factor of our lives but we’re so pushed to believe that without success, we have nothing. So we compare ourselves; we break ourselves down; we mold ourselves into these balls of stress where anxiety is the only emotion we welcome with open arms, for what? What happens when our very first real job interview doesn’t go exactly how we planned and we don’t get the job? The first feelings we succumb to are sadness, loss of hope and anxiety about what’s next when really, our biggest mistake was going into a job interview not feeling anything but absolute confidence in ourselves.
So, I’m making a conscious change in my life. I’m vowing to stop comparing myself to everyone else who seems better off than me because maybe, they’re looking at me and thinking the same thing. Don’t let the fear of not being successful define who you are so young in life. Be driven, not for the person next to you in class who looks like they’ve got it all figured out; do it for you.
Because let’s face it: the only person who can lift you up to your full potential is the same one who breaks you down now. It’s all about how you look at yourself so stop looking around at your peers and look in the mirror at the real force to be reckoned with.
