I don't care who you are, how old you are or where you are from. Not one person can say they haven't been judged. As only a college-aged student, I have experienced this time and time again. Man, oh man, I have. The worst of it? People make these rumors and judgments when they don't even know the person in question. It's terrible and needs to stop.
From an early age, I was an outcast. I was shy and nerdy in a way. I started to break out of my shell when my now best friend moved in two doors down. She knew of me and with a gentle push from her parents, she started to befriend me. It was wonderful. We were the same kind of weird! I loved the feeling of having a sister that wasn't in my family. Within a year, we were inseparable.
While all of this was great, it also hurt my sense of being. I became part of a friend group that started developing shortly before knowing her. But the thing was, I never truly was a part of it. Sure, as a group we would all hang out. But the moment everyone was at home making plans, I would be mysteriously left out. My best friend noticed, but even she didn't make an effort to help for the longest time. This hurt tremendously. How could my best friend actually be loved and included and I not? We are so similar, why am I still an outcast? After all these years, I know why: labels.
Before about sixth grade when my best friend moved in, I was friends with a different set of people. In middle school and high school, people deemed them "the weird, awkward ones." I find that very ironic because they are actually the most accepting people you will ever meet. But that's a different story. They befriended me, and I had a best guy friend who I spent almost all of my time with. When I started hanging with my bestie, our friendship faded (sadly). But the labels persisted.
No matter what I did or how I acted, because of the people I was friends with prior, that label seemed to always be my identity. No one tried to get to know me because they assumed. As a preteen/teenager that is not a good thing. The middle school and high school years are meant to shape who you are and to find your place. It's supposed to be filled with opportunities, but how is that going to work when the world and people shut you out from the start?
I try my very best to be happy and optimistic. But after a while, the sense of not belonging wears you down. When even your family believes the labels, and says that I won't have my best friend soon because, "Jessie's so weird!" and says, "I can't believe she has been her friend this long. It won't last." Those words cut deep and leave scars. After a while, you just fade away. And that's what happened. The last three years of high school I suffered from depression silently without talking about it. I didn't want people to talk to me out of pity. That's the last thing that would help. Things were really bad until I started looking forward to going to college the summer before leaving home.
Things got much better since being at school. It's a fresh start, and I made deep friendships that I will cherish forever. And yet, people still are hateful. Yik Yaks and tweets about rumors along with judgments made by peers when you have never even held a conversation with them still happen frequently. As you get older, it's easier to accept that some people are horrible; they just want to tear others down to feel better. However, that doesn't make hearing those scathing statements hurt any less. Things got really bad one time, and many loved ones were terrified of what was going on with me. For that, I am still sorry for scaring those close to me.
So what's my story have to do with anything? The hate needs to stop. I'm not saying that everyone will fall into a depression or become suicidal. But so many young people do get affected by it. So many people who could have so much to offer lose faith in themselves. Not everyone can have the mindset of "It doesn't matter what anyone says." Lots of personalities are incapable of being unaffected by others or being completely independent and still have full belief in themselves. Especially young teens.
People need to be open-minded and listen to others. They need to get a good grasp of how a person acts before passing judgment. And if you dislike them? Go separate ways. No drama, no labels, no rumors. And the most important thing? Teach young kids not to do it either. Teach them not to listen to peers' opinions but to learn about others themselves. Don't make anyone an outcast because who knows? It could be your life long best friend.
Do toward others how you would want others to do to you. Be kind, you never know what they are going through. More importantly, you never know who they truly are unless you make an effort.
