Don't Be Too Available For Him

Don't Be Too Available For Him

You have stronger titles than simply being eye candy.
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As I near my twentieth birthday, I can't help but think back on all that I've experienced. I've had to own up to my fair share of mistakes and bad decisions. Over these years, I've learned what it means to date in the modern era.

It's no longer like it used to be. Men don't always treat women with respect and sometimes it's not the men we should be blaming. Being single during my college years, it's a completely different experience than what our parents may have endured.

One thing I couldn't have possibly figured out sooner in the dating community today is to never become too available to a man. Running to his beck and call whenever he shows remotely any interest towards you. My women, we are the role models for our younger generations. If we allow men now to dictate when and where we should be because he says so, than we have already lost.

Let him work. Don't be the girl he decides to call at 2 AM because he has no one to hangout with. You know very well he doesn't just want to hangout. Don't be the one that runs over to him after his relationship ended to "comfort" him. If you want to be there for him, tell him you're sorry and talk it over with food. You can't be the girl who allows these types of actions.

This is not about finally getting the guy you've been crushing over. Truth be told, if you run to him the second he shows interest, he won't appreciate you like before. This is about respect. The respect that you have for yourself and what he shows towards you.

Since we are women, our decisions are judged harsher than a if a man performed the same actions. Yes, it's a double standard and no, it's probably not going to change. I understand wanting to go out and date around. You're young and free and you have the rest of your life to focus on finding someone right; however, some of us will be so concerned with experimenting, we lose sight of what's important.

My dad has always told me "nothing good happens after midnight." I understand as college students it's a bit far fetched as we stay up later than the average human would. The meaning behind this statement is to not offer yourself to those that mistreat you. The ones that call you late at night are not looking for a friend. They're looking for a "hook up" and often times will only want you for your body. Once he's gotten what he's wanted, you won't hear from him for awhile, if ever. Admit it, you may have met one or two of these guys before.

Once you begin to carry yourself with dignity, it's a whole new ballgame. Become so engulfed in yourself that the words of a man could never hurt you. Eat what you want to, not what you think you should to keep the body men desire. Remember that you have standards, that you are not just a body for men to gawk act. Focus on advancing your mind, not just your physique.

Holding yourself to these standards and class will infinitely change the world around you. Women will even treat you differently and you may just give some of them the confidence to do the same. As the quote often says, "showing less is sexier."

Embrace your mind and interests and the right people will come along. Keep being unavailable or a "flake" as they call it now. If you're a" stranger" because you choose not to get dressed up at all hours of the night to come see them, you're not in the wrong. These men should be strangers.

You are capable of more than you believe and wiser than you think. Hold your head high, wear your lipstick sharp, and never let your mascara run for a boy. I say a boy, because a true man will never let it run in the first place.

Cover Image Credit: Fashion Gone Rogue

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To Everyone Who Hasn't Had Sex Yet, Wait For Marriage, It's The Right Move

If you have not had sex yet, wait.

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Premarital sex is not a new concept, no matter how much people like to pretend it is. You can trace scripture and historical texts back thousands of year to see that lust and fornication have been a problem since… well, since we humans have been problems.

They tell you in sex ed that sex causes you to form a bond with someone. They throw some big chemical names at you that are apparently in your body and cause that emotional attachment to happen, then you move on (or back to) how important condoms are and why STDs are so scary.

As a middle schooler or teenager, you can't understand what it means to become permanently connected to someone as a result of a quick, physical act.

If you haven't even had your first kiss, you really can't imagine what it's like to develop such a complex and intimate connection with someone because you have yet to feel the butterflies in your stomach from a kiss. So you really don't know what it's like to have a whole different type of feeling in your stomach.

You never forget your first love. It's one of the most cliche things you consistently hear, but it's true. Ask anyone. I guarantee your parents can still spurt out their first love's name in a few seconds. And most people never forget their first time. I know all my friends can recount that often awkward and slightly terrifying moment as if it happened an hour ago. When you mix those two, especially if you are in your teens, oh boy.

You never forget that. No matter how hard you try.

Everything you hear about sex is true: it's amazing, fantastic, life-changing, etc. There's a reason people have done it as frequently as they do, for as long as they have. But every time you sleep with someone, you leave a piece of yourself with them. Every time you choose to take that final physical step with someone, you cannot go back and collect that piece of your dignity and soul that you left with someone.

So, imagine what happens when you break up with someone you've slept with. Or that you just hooked up with. You have given someone a little slice of yourself forever. And you can never get it back. And imagine what happens when you do that multiple times. You give a piece of yourself to five, 10, 15, 20 or more people. Then you meet the person that you want to spend forever with. And you no longer have that whole part of you. You've given pieces away, and you can no longer give those to the love of your life.

So, save those pieces for your future spouse.

If you have not had sex yet, wait. If you have, consider not giving more pieces of yourself away to people who are not your spouse. Sex was created to be between two spouses, nobody else. So we need to try to maintain its integrity.

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Fun Winter Date Ideas

There is always something about when the weather gets cold your love life gets hot

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There is nothing better than spending time with someone you love. There is something about when the weather getting colder you cannot help but fall in love with spending time with someone special.

Cuddling by the fire is always an essential. Lets face it you are freezing from the outside why not get together make a pallet full of blankets and pillows, light the fire in the fire place, and get to cuddling while watching cute Christmas movies. It is a fun time to really get in some quality time with your significant other.

Driving around in the car looking at Christmas lights. So many people go completely all out on the lights outside of there house that why not enjoy all their hard work. I love Christmas lights as it is,but getting to spend time with someone you love just makes it that much better.

Ice Skating... Grab your skates and if you are anything like me you will need the wall to the skating rink without falling. You get to drink hot chocolate in between skating. It is always nice to get to have fun and do something you would not normally do any other time of the year.

Playing in the Snow, is such a fun time to get silly with your person, because you can truly let your inner child come out. You can have a snowball fight, make snow angles, or you can even build a snowball fort. Plus you and your date will be in so many layers that you will look like walking marshmallows which is always funny. With this one obviously it is not always ideal considering there is no guarantee it will actually snow, but if you get the chance I 100 percent recommend this one.

Decorating for Christmas... I love getting in the Christmas spirit by decorating my living space with all the Christmas vibes. You and your significant other can decorate the tree with all your ornaments. It is such a fun time and you are killing two birds with one stone. You get to get your space all decorated and pretty, but you also get a fun date out of it.

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