Don't Be Too Available For Him

Don't Be Too Available For Him

You have stronger titles than simply being eye candy.

As I near my twentieth birthday, I can't help but think back on all that I've experienced. I've had to own up to my fair share of mistakes and bad decisions. Over these years, I've learned what it means to date in the modern era.

It's no longer like it used to be. Men don't always treat women with respect and sometimes it's not the men we should be blaming. Being single during my college years, it's a completely different experience than what our parents may have endured.

One thing I couldn't have possibly figured out sooner in the dating community today is to never become too available to a man. Running to his beck and call whenever he shows remotely any interest towards you. My women, we are the role models for our younger generations. If we allow men now to dictate when and where we should be because he says so, than we have already lost.

Let him work. Don't be the girl he decides to call at 2 AM because he has no one to hangout with. You know very well he doesn't just want to hangout. Don't be the one that runs over to him after his relationship ended to "comfort" him. If you want to be there for him, tell him you're sorry and talk it over with food. You can't be the girl who allows these types of actions.

This is not about finally getting the guy you've been crushing over. Truth be told, if you run to him the second he shows interest, he won't appreciate you like before. This is about respect. The respect that you have for yourself and what he shows towards you.

Since we are women, our decisions are judged harsher than a if a man performed the same actions. Yes, it's a double standard and no, it's probably not going to change. I understand wanting to go out and date around. You're young and free and you have the rest of your life to focus on finding someone right; however, some of us will be so concerned with experimenting, we lose sight of what's important.

My dad has always told me "nothing good happens after midnight." I understand as college students it's a bit far fetched as we stay up later than the average human would. The meaning behind this statement is to not offer yourself to those that mistreat you. The ones that call you late at night are not looking for a friend. They're looking for a "hook up" and often times will only want you for your body. Once he's gotten what he's wanted, you won't hear from him for awhile, if ever. Admit it, you may have met one or two of these guys before.

Once you begin to carry yourself with dignity, it's a whole new ballgame. Become so engulfed in yourself that the words of a man could never hurt you. Eat what you want to, not what you think you should to keep the body men desire. Remember that you have standards, that you are not just a body for men to gawk act. Focus on advancing your mind, not just your physique.

Holding yourself to these standards and class will infinitely change the world around you. Women will even treat you differently and you may just give some of them the confidence to do the same. As the quote often says, "showing less is sexier."

Embrace your mind and interests and the right people will come along. Keep being unavailable or a "flake" as they call it now. If you're a" stranger" because you choose not to get dressed up at all hours of the night to come see them, you're not in the wrong. These men should be strangers.

You are capable of more than you believe and wiser than you think. Hold your head high, wear your lipstick sharp, and never let your mascara run for a boy. I say a boy, because a true man will never let it run in the first place.

Cover Image Credit: Fashion Gone Rogue

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The 7 Guys You Meet In College

You might even move in together.

So, college is the place where people usually date the people they would never have dated before. Some of them are great. Some of them are weird, which is sometimes great, sometimes not so great. Some of them are just plain terrible. Here are 7 of the guys you meet in college.

1. The cool frat guy

Okay. So, we aren't all going to date Nick Jonas but, when I think of the cool frat guy, he comes to mind. The cool frat guy is cool with everyone. Maybe a little too cool with some people. He's a good guy to date but do not get serious with him. Give him a few years and he might be perfect.

2. The jerk frat guy

This guy is someone most girls will probably never date because they're too average. This guy only wants what he can't have. He wants the cheerleaders or the dance line members or the oddly attractive professor who all want nothing to do with him. The "average" girls pine after him and he strings them along. Then, at the party he invites them to, he gets one of the drunk cheerleaders to make out with him in front of her. Don't waste you time on this guy.

3. The guy with the not so great band

Bless his heart. He's a great musician on his own. Especially if he's playing covers. But when it comes to "jamming" with his friends, oh boy. The band comes before anything else. He forgets to eat. He drinks too much. He alienates himself and then acts like you don't care about him or his music. Be friends with him. Support him. Maybe they won't be so terrible soon.

4. The 26-year-old who was secretly dating a 16-year-old

Oh boy! These are the guys that just can't grow up. He's 26 and still goes to high school parties. He's even secretly dating a 16 year old until she turns 18. Don't be friends with him. He's toxic. When he goes down, he will drag you with him.

5. The guy who only dates one type of girl

Not all of this kind of guy are ugly or jerks. They just have a type. There are, however, the guys that look like a toe who refuse to date anyone other than supermodels. They only surround themselves with people they see as equal, which means ridiculously attractive people.

If he considers you ugly and you just so happen to be in his friend group, it's not a good thing. He will probably be mean to you, no matter what your gender. He's just a jerk for no reason. That's not to talk down about having a type, though. There's nothing wrong with having a type. Everyone has a type. Just don't be a jerk.

6. Mr. Right Now

This guy. He really is a great guy. He's just not THE guy. He's spontaneous. You take trips out of the blue all of the time. You go to random concerts. You might even move in together. It just doesn't seem right. Something feels wrong in your gut. You don't know why but you ignore it a while. You love him and you can't imagine your life without him.

That part depends on the length of your relationship. Anyway, you decide to end it and he's okay with it because he felt the same all along. You're still going to be great friends and possibly invited to each other's weddings. It'll be a fun story for your kids one day.

7. Mr. Right

You will most likely meet him in college. He might not go to the same school. You might have met him and had a crush on him while you were with Mr. Right Now or The Cool Frat Guy. You might have a meet-cute or it might be extremely boring. Any way that it happens, it will happen. You guys might not know it right then. You might not feel it right then. Mr. Right is not someone I have personally met but I've heard that he's wonderful. So, if you have met him, you're lucky.

I know a lot of these references, "Mr." I am only able to speak from my own experience. If you love girls, you go girl! read this as your own inner dialogue. I love everyone.

Cover Image Credit: YouTube

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Love IS In The Air, You Just Have To Swipe Right To Find It

What if I told you that almost 15% of couples, now married, find each other on a dating app?

Remember when Tinder was just an app for finding your one night stand? Well, what if it turned into your every-night stand?

Apologies for that horrible phrasing, but I needed to find a witty way to get you into this article — did it work?

What if I told you that almost 15% of couples, now married, find each other on a dating app?

What if I also told you that dating apps are no longer the place people look for a fling but rather serious relationships? Over 44% of women and 38% of men claim to want a partner for more than just one night.

The dating scene has completely changed. All of my friends are meeting their boos on dating apps, one date turns into a serious relationship and then the serious relationship starts to hear wedding bells and then there goes your sunset over a Happily Ever After.

But how do you get to that Happily Ever After?

I was talking to one of my guy friends last week and he was saying what’s hard about dating apps is that it’s all about judging the physical. He was telling me it's hard because when you’re at a bar and see a girl, you can see her for more than who she is physically — you see how she is with her friends, if she’s witty, serious, etc.

On the flip side, he was telling me how it was so much easier to talk to people through the app than it was in person. It takes away a lot of the awkward small talk moments.

I, following this little enlightening conversation, I decided to do my research and tried to find what people look for when they go on Tinder, Bumble, etc.

According to a fancy, schmancy sociologist that works for Tinder:

  • Image is super big, so make sure you’re smiling in your photos! Soft smiles y’all, soft smiles.
  • No group photos (apparently, they look for the hotter person in the pic and no one wants that—you’re the star of this show!)
  • BIOs!! So important, especially for wooing the ladies. So, guys make sure you’re writing the wittiest, most captivating two phrases ever because we won’t look at you the same.
  • Have a bio that starts a conversation! Food, travel, dogs — dogs, dogs are a great go to.

Here’s to your next match being someone that not only shares your love of crème brulee but also knows every single word to every episode of Friends.

Or is that just me? OK, cool.

Cover Image Credit: Instagram

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