Don't Be Too Available For Him

Don't Be Too Available For Him

You have stronger titles than simply being eye candy.

As I near my twentieth birthday, I can't help but think back on all that I've experienced. I've had to own up to my fair share of mistakes and bad decisions. Over these years, I've learned what it means to date in the modern era.

It's no longer like it used to be. Men don't always treat women with respect and sometimes it's not the men we should be blaming. Being single during my college years, it's a completely different experience than what our parents may have endured.

One thing I couldn't have possibly figured out sooner in the dating community today is to never become too available to a man. Running to his beck and call whenever he shows remotely any interest towards you. My women, we are the role models for our younger generations. If we allow men now to dictate when and where we should be because he says so, than we have already lost.

Let him work. Don't be the girl he decides to call at 2 AM because he has no one to hangout with. You know very well he doesn't just want to hangout. Don't be the one that runs over to him after his relationship ended to "comfort" him. If you want to be there for him, tell him you're sorry and talk it over with food. You can't be the girl who allows these types of actions.

This is not about finally getting the guy you've been crushing over. Truth be told, if you run to him the second he shows interest, he won't appreciate you like before. This is about respect. The respect that you have for yourself and what he shows towards you.

Since we are women, our decisions are judged harsher than a if a man performed the same actions. Yes, it's a double standard and no, it's probably not going to change. I understand wanting to go out and date around. You're young and free and you have the rest of your life to focus on finding someone right; however, some of us will be so concerned with experimenting, we lose sight of what's important.

My dad has always told me "nothing good happens after midnight." I understand as college students it's a bit far fetched as we stay up later than the average human would. The meaning behind this statement is to not offer yourself to those that mistreat you. The ones that call you late at night are not looking for a friend. They're looking for a "hook up" and often times will only want you for your body. Once he's gotten what he's wanted, you won't hear from him for awhile, if ever. Admit it, you may have met one or two of these guys before.

Once you begin to carry yourself with dignity, it's a whole new ballgame. Become so engulfed in yourself that the words of a man could never hurt you. Eat what you want to, not what you think you should to keep the body men desire. Remember that you have standards, that you are not just a body for men to gawk act. Focus on advancing your mind, not just your physique.

Holding yourself to these standards and class will infinitely change the world around you. Women will even treat you differently and you may just give some of them the confidence to do the same. As the quote often says, "showing less is sexier."

Embrace your mind and interests and the right people will come along. Keep being unavailable or a "flake" as they call it now. If you're a" stranger" because you choose not to get dressed up at all hours of the night to come see them, you're not in the wrong. These men should be strangers.

You are capable of more than you believe and wiser than you think. Hold your head high, wear your lipstick sharp, and never let your mascara run for a boy. I say a boy, because a true man will never let it run in the first place.

Cover Image Credit: Fashion Gone Rogue

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Why Girls Love The Dad Bod

If your man can rock the dad bod, he's a keeper.


In case you haven't noticed lately, girls are all about that dad bod.

Girls have been dealing with body image issues since the beginning of time until recent (for those of you who consider yourselves to be "Thick thin") I hadn't heard about this body type until my roommate mentioned it. She used to be crazy over guys she claimed had the dad bod.

After observing the guys she found attractive, I came to understand this body type well and was able to identify it. The dad bod is a nice balance between a beer gut and working out. The dad bod says, "I go to the gym occasionally, but I also drink heavily on the weekends and enjoy eating eight slices of pizza at a time." It's not an overweight guy, but it isn't one with washboard abs, either.

The dad bod is a new trend and fraternity boys everywhere seem to be rejoicing. Turns out skipping the gym for a few brews last Thursday after class turned out to be in their favor. While we all love a sculpted guy, there is just something about the dad bod that makes boys seem more human, natural, and attractive. Here are a few reasons that girls are crazy about the dad bod.

It doesn't intimidate us.
Few things are worse than taking a picture in a bathing suit, one being taking a picture in a bathing suit with a guy who is crazy fit. We don't want a guy that makes us feel insecure about our body. We are insecure enough as it is. We don't need a perfectly sculpted guy standing next to us to make us feel worse.

SEE ALSO: Slim Thick Is The New Thin

We like being the pretty one.
We love people saying "they look cute together." But we still like being the center of attention. We want to look skinny and the bigger the guy, the smaller we feel and the better we look next to you in a picture.

Better cuddling.
No one wants to cuddle with a rock. Or Edward Cullen. The end.

Good eats.
The dad bod says he doesn't meal prep every Sunday night so if you want to go to Taco Tuesday or $4 pitcher Wednesday, he'd be totally down. He's not scared of a cheat meal because he eats just about anything and everything.

You know what you're getting.
Girls tend to picture their future together with their guys early on. Therefore, if he already has the dad bod going on, we can get used to it before we date him, marry him, have three kids. We know what we are getting into when he's got the same exact body type at the age of 22 that he's going to have at 45.

So there you go. A simple break down of why girls everywhere are going nuts over this body type on males. We like it. We love it. We want some more of it. So here's to you dad bods, keep it up. Men, confidently strut that gut on the beach because while you stare at us in our bikinis we will be staring just as hard.

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What is love, Like, Honestly?

Does love actually exist? Or does it not exist for me?


You know, I really thought that once I shot my shot, things would be different. LMAO WAS I WRONG ABOUT THAT. I mean, I shouldn't have just assumed that things would be automatically different and he'd fall in love with me; shoot, that's crazy. But I was hoping that he would have been flattered enough to see that a really cute girl like myself thinks a guy like him is super cute, If this situation was flipped, I would be hella flattered. I should have known better; I can't believe I actually thought this time would be different than the other times. I just don't think I could ever let this go.

Most people I talked to tell me that "Boys love that confidence shit" and to "Go for it because YOLO." I should have never listened. It's not like I struck out or anything; I still am talking to him, but God knows for how much longer. Excuse me for being cheesy, I do realize I'm only 18 and almost 19, but I think I found the guy I want to be my first boyfriend and I'd do whatever I can do to make this happen. Also, before anyone says anything like, "Just leave him be, he doesn't like you" or something along those lines, that statement is far from the truth. He does in fact have an interest in me and would love to get to know me better but the distance we have between is the key factor as to why I still haven't met the guy.

It just feels like I'll never find anyone. If I'm struggling so much now, I'm starting to question what's going to happy in the future. I stopped looking a long time ago and wanted to focus on myself but that's exactly when he fell into my lap. Everyone always says, the moment you stop looking is when someone will "run into you." Well, here I am, and I can't seem to move on even though we've talked on and off. I wish he lived closer and I wish I never met him. This is the main reason I start to question if "love" even exists, it seems like everyone these days is in a relationship with someone or even talking to someone in hopes of a romance blooming, and here's single old me sitting and listening to love songs and dreaming of the moment I meet my prince charming. I'm such a hopeless romantic, which attributes to me questioning love and if I'll ever find it or even come across it.

It doesn't just have to be love from a boyfriend or something, it can be from my parents and friends, too. Sometimes I can't help but think that they don't love me even though I know they do and I'm crazy for even thinking that they hate me. It's just the dark place my mind takes me to and there's no escape once I'm in there. I should probably just focus on myself, but that's so hard when you're working or out somewhere and a cute guy is around and you can't help but swoon. Or if they call you cute, you literally melt inside. Is that just me or does everyone feel the same way? Asking for a friend. Every time this boy says I'm cute I literally start to hyperventilate and I need to go and take a breather and come back and reply. I'm not used to these kinds of comments coming from the male species except for my dad, but that's my dad. All my friends tell me I'm pretty and what not and I believe them (LMAO for the most part until I look in the mirror and I'm like ew who is that) and I feel confident, but there's a different type of confidence that comes when a boy you think is cute calls you cute and you're left feeling a type of way. Ya feel me?

But seriously though, can someone please tell me what love is? I have two (I'm probably going to make a third) playlists on Spotify called "What is Love?" and "What is Love? Part II" with songs reminding me of the guys who broke my heart before I even legitimately gave it to them.

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