To keep this short and [not so] sweet, I am done listening to everyone who tells me to give guys chances even if I get a not so great vibe from the beginning. In the fewest cases where I've started dating again after a very toxic relationship, it seems that everyone I do end up trying to give a chance and open myself up to just slaps me right in the face every single time and leaves me almost regretting the opportunities I try giving to others.

Two years ago I was able to let go of a very toxic relationship that I tried hanging onto for way too long. After that breakup, it took me so much time to be social and willing to get out there again. I can also say I was already prepared and (basically) trying to heal and move on even before I was able to cut every string off with my ex. As the years were already bad in our relationship, the very last few months were the pinpoints of everything I needed to finally just let go. I had decided to just accept it, and slowly prepare myself to completely leave after six years (I know, it's crazy). Doing that helped me have full strength in myself once I made the final decision and broke everything off.

I am happy and proud to say that I LOVE who I am now. I am so thankful for doing what I did for myself because I love who and where I am in life at this exact moment. With that said, socially, I struggled going out and meeting new people when I wanted to. I would experience so much anxiety when I tried “dating" again. Eventually, I gave up and just did me which provided so much strength and positivity for myself.

I allowed life to just flow and created a mindset of letting whatever happen, happen. While I did that, there were a few times where I was able to meet guys that I was actually willing to give a chance for. Nothing serious obviously.. but it was a chance of hope in being able to start something new. In which I knew, most of them were a waste of my time. On the first dates, I was already not interested after the first twenty or so minutes... asking my best friends to call me and save my life. It has definitely been quite the experience.

In the present time, I can say that I feel more comfortable personally and socially with meeting new people and engaging a first impression and/or relationship. I like to take my time and get to know someone slowly...it's easier to for me to spend time now and actually get to know them in person rather than through simple texts and viewing their social media. Within the past couple of months, I have engaged relationships I eventually was getting comfortable with after taking my time to meet them and get to know them better. Of course, none of these were anything serious, because unfortunately, it didn't last long enough to even get to that point.

For example, there have been two times that I convinced myself to give chances with someone new... both in which ended up with them ghosting out on me after a few weeks when everything seemed to be going pretty well between us (or so I thought). The thing I keep realizing that guys seem to lack so hard on is communication. It is so easy, to be honest, and fair rather than to just not give any explanation and play someone dirty.

Moral of the story, trust your gut. always. Once you get that gut feeling... you know. You must trust yourself more than anyone else's thoughts. Always do you, put yourself first, love yourself first, and know your worth. Experience is great... it creates practice for when the right one comes along. But don't waste your time when your mind is telling you one thing compared to what society tells you.

Princess J,

Xoxo