Donald Trump.

What can I say about a man who’s already been verbally eviscerated by comedians much smarter and more experienced than I.

I mean, when I heard that he was running for president I, like most of America, collapsed into a fit of laughter. This was clearly just some kind of ridiculous publicity stunt, right?

But apparently the joke was on us, because months into the campaign trail he’s still here.

So what now? You can only make fun of a man’s hair for so long.

Well I decided that, after all of the jokes that I’ve made at his expense, it was finally time to give him a fair chance. So when I heard he was going to be on The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon this Friday, I decided that it would be the perfect opportunity to really sit down and hear what he has to say about the hot-button issues facing our nation. Here’s what I leaned.

He plans to build a wall along the border, possibly using immigrant labor.

Genius. What better way to uphold this nation’s values of freedom and equal opportunity? After all, everyone knows that the American Dream only applies if you were born in American. Who do these people think they are coming here in search of a better life?

Not to mention that they’re stealing all of our jobs (as long as you ignore that fact that the average American wouldn’t even consider doing the work that they’re doing because it’s hard manual labor and they’re being paid well below minimum wage for it) and they’re ruining our national identity (after all, it’s not like we are a nation built on immigrants, and we don’t actually have a national language).

Thank you Donald Trump, for coming up with a plan to save us form those scary foreigners.

He plans to create jobs by “just doing it.”

Let me tell you folks, that right there is a solid plan. He has clearly thought this one through; my only question is why no one else thought of this? I mean why concern yourself with pesky details of how you’re going to do something when you can just do it. Trump is clearly the man of action that we need in the White House.

He wants to make America a respected nation again.

And who better to do it than Donald Trump. He is, after all, a successful businessman and a leader in his field. And I know I said that I, like most of America, get the urge to comment on the fact that he looks like a troll doll who finally bought a decent hairbrush every time I see his face, but that doesn’t mean the rest of the world feels the same. I’m sure that with Trump representing America, the world will look on in awe as this great nation breaks free the liberal chains that have bound it for eight years. American needs to stop trying to work with other nations, and instead just bully them into submission. Everyone knows that’s the only way to get respect.

So I guess what my research taught me is that clearly we have underestimated this man who -- let me emphasize every word so you really understand what I'm saying -- could. very. well. be. our. next. president.

Just let that sink in for a moment; this man could be the face of America for the next for years. I hope you’re ready.