Lately, I have been struggling with what I want to be in this world. Questions like "What is your major?" or "What career do you want to have after graduation?" have become the topic of conversation everywhere. It seems as if everyone is concerned with WHAT you are, instead of WHO you are. Everyone wants to know what your end goal is, and while I am unsure of what I want to be in life, I do know what I don't want to be.
I do not want to be beautiful.
I do not want to be beautiful when there is so much more that I could be. I do not want to enclose myself in a single characteristic of how I appear physically when I could describe what truly makes ME, me.
In today's society, beauty is an objective characteristic that people strive for. Humans deeply desire to be physically attractive to others- we want to be seen as worthy and acceptable. Society's standards for beauty today, however, are not in any way, shape, or form, feasible. We long to be thin, but "thick" at the same time. We want to be tan, but not wrinkly. We apply makeup, we dye our hair, we buy the right shoes, we post the perfectly-angled picture- all to maintain the way in which we are perceived by others.
While taking care of yourself or looking presentable is not wrong or immoral, we have become so engrossed in this unattainable idea of perfection. While I love to put makeup on and get dressed up as much as the next girl, I have found myself wanting to spend that time reading or writing, or anything else that is productive and good for the soul. I have discovered that I do not want to be rich in this superficial beauty that everyone is so obsessed with. I would rather be rich in intelligence, kindness, grace, compassion, and radiance. I want to have a kind heart, a graceful soul, and a thoughtful mind. I want to grow and learn and become a better person. I want to have worldly experiences and cherish my youth, instead of throwing it away by focusing on everything I am not.
So, in the days to come, I will laugh and be happy and relish in this life. I refuse to become a slave to society's standards of worthiness because I know that I am more than enough.
