I know I’m not alone when I bring up the idea of divorced parents. At this point, it seems like an equal amount of my friends have divorced parents as those with parents still together. And while telling people you have divorced parents can be taken as just a simple fact, there is so much more to it. I’m not one to say my parent’s divorce wasn’t necessary, and that things haven’t gotten better as a result of it. But I am one to say that divorce can tear people up.
My dad is one of the strongest people I know. From dealing with cancer in his early adulthood to dealing with problems in his workplace and beyond, he’s always been a fighter. The divorce between my parents was his breaking point. For a little while, it was my breaking point too. For days I couldn’t look at the cereal my mom was eating when she left the house because it made me too sad (….yeah, that’s me, an overemotional teen.) Going back to school the day after and not being able to see anything clearly through the lens that covered my eyes, filling me with constant memories of what had happened the night before, was one of the hardest days of my life.
But, as years passed, the pain subsided.
It didn’t go away, and I presume it never will, but it became manageable.
It became just another part of my life that influenced who I was.
However, my dad was a different story. It’s been three years since they split up, and the pain I can see in my dads eyes every time we talk emanates through each word he speaks. He went from having someone to share stories with, experience life with, and simply talk to, to having nothing. Medically, he isn’t well. Being over 70 years old has taken a toll on his zest for life in many ways. He can no longer eat, can barely hear, and recently moved into his own apartment so he wouldn’t have to worry about managing a house. He’s hanging in there, but he isn’t the dad I grew up with.
He isn’t the man that made French toast on the weekends and took us to the park to play tennis. And I’m not saying his current life is a result of his divorce.
But I am saying that things would be much different if it hadn’t happened. I now feel responsible for his life, and being hundreds of miles away doesn’t make that easy. Divorce may be a solution, but it can also be an open door to experiences you could never imagine.
