When I talk to people or I post on social media, no one is quite sure how to react to me most of the time. I'm very open about the fact that I have clinically diagnosed General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and depression, which makes everyone a little uncomfortable. Usually people respond with something about how I'm such a young girl who's always smiling, so surely I can't be dealing with something so horrible. No matter how cute and happy I appear to be, looks can be deceiving.
I'm surrounded by people who constantly say things like "Oh, I have such bad anxiety!" or "I'm just really depressed today." It gets my blood boiling when I hear these phrases being used, and it seems like lately it's become commonplace to state both of them. It feels as if no one takes my disorder seriously because when I say "I'm feeling anxious," it means something different to everyone else who have equated "anxious" to the general feeling of being stressed out. When I'm anxious, I literally feel like I'm going to die, I fidget and pick at my fingers until they bleed, I feel like I need to leave but there is no where to go. I'm not taken seriously when I tell my friends I'm anxious and that kills me, because it's not something as cute and simple as being stressed out about the amount of work I have to get done. The same goes for when I say I'm feeling really depressed on certain days. People think that just means I'm sad because that's how everyone uses the word "depressed." I'm simply not just feeling a little sad, I can't get myself out of bed or get myself to do basic human tasks like eat or shower. It's being on the edge of tears all day or starting to cry for no reason at all.
Because it's been a trendy thing to be "depressed" or "anxious," my disorders are taken less seriously when I talk about them. I always have to begin my conversation with "I have been clinically diagnosed and I'm on prescribed medication," otherwise I get brushed off. This makes my road to recovery even harder. Sometimes I need random mental health days where I can't go to class because my anxiety or depression is so bad that I cannot function like a normal person. I can't simply send an email to my professors saying that I'm feeling too anxious or depressed to attend class that day. I won't be taken seriously, so I have to lie and say I got sick. My disorders are not taken seriously enough to even excuse me from classes.
So after all this rambling, what's the point? Well, my point is that my disorders are a lot more complicated than just being sad or stressed. They are real, and they interfere with my ability to function like a normal person most days. My disorders are not to be confused with the trendy "depressed" and "anxious" feelings people throw around to describe being sad or stressed.
