The Classic City. Home to more bars per capita than any other college town in the country. On any given night, you can expect to see an uncomfortably high number of sloppy couples that will end up on UGA Makeouts, at least 4 drunk criers who put Kim Kardashian to shame, and some idiot with a Napoleon complex getting thrown outside for picking a fight with someone twice their size. There’s no doubt that Athens knows how to show you, and your liver, one heck of a time. But what’s a night of stumbling around DT without finishing it off with a nice hearty meal to subside that inevitable hangover? Just as everyone has a favorite bar, you’ve probably got a restaurant of choice when the drunchies hit you. So, what does your Late Night say about you?

Five Guys

You are first and foremost unbothered by absolute chaos. You want your cheeseburger and lil fry and you will wait in a line longer than a football field to get it. You are absolutely, 100% NOT allergic to peanuts even a little bit and have probably eaten at least 6 handfulls of those tasty legumes before your order is even ready. You may not have gotten an A in pre calc, but you still get a little bummed when they go from order 43 to 47. You either don’t know that you’re consuming 2000 calories, or you believe that calories don’t exist after midnight. You have either mastered the art of swooping in on an open table, or you have learned to cut your losses and take your meal to-go. You more than likely have a higher cholesterol level than the average college students, but you really dgaf because your tummy is full of mid-grade beef and you’re going to sleep like a rock.

The Grill

God bless the patient soul who eats at this establishment. Not only will you wait at least 15 minutes for a table, but you will also diligently sit in your booth for an hour before a single bite of food ever passes through your lips. There is a 90% chance that fries and feta dressing is a part of your order and a 50% chance that your server has been working there for under a week. Something will most definitely be wrong with your order, but you gave up on sending your food back after the first 3 times you’ve eaten here and you happily eat whatever is brought to you. Should you have to pee at any point during your visit to the grill, you are accepting the fact that at least 7 different types of drugs have been done in the restroom you are in. As you flush, you contemplate why anyone would pay $1 for a textured condom from that sketchy vending machine thing when they could buy an extra side of feta dressing instead. If you had a $5 bill for every tattoo and piercing a Grill employee had, you could probably pay back your student loans, but lets be honest… You would probably just use that money to buy more fries and feta dressing. You probably won’t be going to bed before 4am due to the fact that it takes a small eternity to get your check, but dat feta dressing doeeeeee. Essentially, you have no problem settling for mediocrity when it comes to a meal after midnight.

Insomnia Coookies

For the easy going soul. Dessert before dinner is a regular part of your life and you don’t conform to the dining norms. If Insomnia is your go-to meal, you probably would live a happier life in Colorado or California if you catch my drift. You’re definitely not gluten free and you are most likely not THC free either. You would sleep like a baby regardless, but these cookies are the cherry on top of a laid back night that more than likely took place on a couch in a loft above the bars instead of an actual bar.

Eddie’s Calzones

You understand the meaning of a quality late night meal. You think Eddie’s is the best $8 you can spend (besides a student football ticket of course). These Calzones are so good that they could even make Kanye smile. On top of that, THEY SELL ICE CREAM!!!! Not only is the service impressively quick for how busy they always are, but those angels deliver until 4AM. You tip generously and happily because this is the holy grail of post bar cuisine. You will either willingly share a bite with all of your friends so they too can be blessed with perfection, or you’re greedy af and down it by yourself in five minutes. You are a fan of functionality and efficiency because you can hold a calzone half in one hand while dialing an uber with the other. You feel fancy because calzones are the sophisticated older sibling of pizza (the original late night staple ammirate?) You most definitely finish your calzone before you get home and you go to sleep happier than a white girl during pumpkin spice latte season.

Subway

LOL... you do you

Eat Hibachi

You are most likely a freshman who has not yet discovered a better place to late night. But, hey I guess it can help you get a head start on your freshman 15 and you can overdose on sodium at the same time! There is a direct positive correlation between how inebriated you are and how good the food from here tastes. So drink and be MSG’d at Eat Hibachi & live it up while you’re young. If you can’t move past your love for low grade Asian food, give Choo Choo’s a try and you’ll never go back.

WaHo

Georgia is home to more Waffle Houses than any other state in the country. So whether you’re DT or you live on Milledge Avenue, you can relive your high school glory days. Back then hash browns & coffee was the perfect way to end a long night of TP’ing front yards during Junior Senior wars. There is a 90% chance you are also from the metro Atlanta area. Naturally, WaHo just feels a little bit like home to you. You understand that your server will either be the sweetest human on Earth or a complete prick. There is no in between. Regardless, you’ve got a craving that can’t be satisfied by anything but an allstar special and you’re on a mission.

Easy Mac/Ramen at home or Snelling

You are ballin’ on a tight budget, but you are still commited to the late-night game. I commend you for your frugality.

Cookout

First, let me say your willingness to travel so far from DT for a late night meal is impressive. Even though they’ve recently opened a Cookout closer to DT that is still at least a 45 minute walk… More realistically you probably have a really tight uber driver, an abundance of pledges (God bless these boys honestly) who will drive you anywhere, or a very kind sober friend who loves you a lot. Or maybe, just maybe, you’ve bribed Howard with a Cookout Tray if he’ll cut you some slack on your taxi fare. You like to have options (40+ flavors of milkshakes? LOL how do you even decide…) Which brings me to my final late night destination:

Lay z Shopper

You also exhibit a respectable amount of patience because the lines here are loooonnngg. If you manage to execute a Lazy trip without a long line… congratulations on receiving your very own Christmas miracle. There aren’t many places where you can purchase a fresh sub and a fresh can of dip at the same time (if you’re into that sort of thing). You most definitely DO NOT have decision making anxiety to any degree, because this place literally has at least 1000 snacking options to choose from. This late night spot can easily be overlooked, so be sure to thank the person who introduced you to this gold mine.

No matter where you choose to have a meal after midnight, one thing is for sure. You’re lucky to be a Dawg. Keep counting your blessings & your bacon strips,

Happy Late Nighting, Friends!