For a long time, there has been a big debate online about the "right woman" being able to "change" a man to be better.
There are usually two sides to the situation.
One side says that you are a bad person if you break up with or end a relationship with someone because of their mental illness, insecurities, or other difficulties going on in their life preventing them to grow.
The other side says that you are not a bad person and it is not up to any significant other to feel obligated to stay in a relationship where they feel like they are constantly taking care of someone else.
For years I have thought that people were inherently bad for leaving people who were depressed or insecure. I thought they were being selfish.
Now that I am older and have experienced what it is like being in relationships and friendships with people who have had mental illness or debilitating insecurities, I have realized that it is not a bad thing to have to step away.
You see the thing is I am all for being there for loved ones.
However, when a relationship brings you down and someone heavily relies on you for their happiness it can be absolutely exhausting.
As an empathetic person, it is an extremely hard feeling obligated to constantly be there for a loved one.
It is extremely hard always having to put on a tough act, a strong face just so the other person can experience some relief.
It is extremely hard to expend your emotional, physical and mental energy trying to redirect someone from a path or a mindset they have, a mindset that will not waver.
You cannot change people.
No matter how much energy you put into someone their mental illness will never truly go away. No matter how much effort you put into someone their insecurities will not automatically vanish.
No matter how much love you put into someone it will never be enough until they can accept their circumstances, love themselves and move forward.
So no, it is not a bad thing to have to walk away from someone who exhausts you. It is not a bad thing to step away from someone who used up all your expendable energy.
You deserve to be whole. You deserve to be taken care of too.
