Dear Depression,

I know you're there. Lately, you have been, lurking around, telling me how to think, feel, and act like you're the one calling the shots in my mind and body. But now I see you, exposed and afraid of what I might do now that I took the time to acknowledge your presence and your ways. There are a few things I would like to say to you.

I am not ashamed or scared of you, not even in the slightest. I know what you are: A condition, an illness, and something that I can't completely rid on my own. Specifically, you are a chemical imbalance in my brain that I can address over time with medication, a healthy lifestyle, and mindfulness. When I lost interest in the things I loved, persistently lacked energy, didn't sleep or slept too long, and felt empty, I thought it was because I was going through a rough patch. Instead, it was you, depression, who decided to show up.

You aren't as rare or as special as you think you are. In fact, you're pretty common all over the world, which is why I'm not afraid to talk about you with my doctor, friends, and family. Others shouldn't be either. Exposing you for what you really are will not only help me, but will also help others see what you look like when you take over.

Initially, you made me feel guilty and at fault through your existence. People who suffer from you, depression, are sometimes stigmatized. I can't just snap out of it and magically wish you away. I'm not out-of-control or crazy. I'm not weak. In fact, I'm strong for confronting and recognizing you, and I want you to know that you don't own me anymore. You may have the best of me every once in a while, but that doesn't mean that I am you. You just happen to thrive in my control center like an evil invader who sucks away all of my happiness, focus, and energy. It's not really me, it's been you all along.

As weird as this may sound, I want to thank you for one thing. Thank you for teaching me to be an advocate for my health and well-being. No one else can see you because you're basically invisible, so I had to speak up in order to discover that you were actually there. Your overpowering presence urged me to say something to someone who could help before the silence of you consumed me. In a strange way, I'm grateful for the diagnosis because I became my own advocate along the way. You can have detrimental effects if not treated, and I'm glad I was able to discover that it was you, not me, who was being the bully inside my mind and body.

You, depression, are the bully I never expected. But I see you now, and it's time that I stand up to you, not only for myself, but for all of those in my life and those who are touched by your unwelcome existence.

Insincerely,
Theresa