My name is Courtney and I have depression. There, I said it. I admitted it. I silently suffered from depression for almost three years before I sought out help. I was in denial about my condition and it almost cost me my life.
1. Breathe.
It's as simple as that. If you feel yourself on the verge of a breakdown or panic attack, just breathe. Focus on it. Sit up straight, try to stare at the type of your nose, inhale your nose for five seconds (one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi...), hold your breath for three, exhale through your mouth for five. Do this as many times as you can until you feel your heart rate slow down. Focusing on something other than what is stressing you out or making you feel depressed can make those sad or nervous feelings subside, at least for a little while. In this time, you can gather your thoughts and help level yourself out.
2. Things will get better.
This is the most cliché things people will tell you, but it is absolutely true. It's really hard to believe at the time, especially if everything seems to be going wrong, but it does get better. The thing about it is that it will not happen right away even though that’s what we all hope for, but you'll see small things that will happen that will change your mood. For example, finding an extra $10 in your laundry to spend on something for yourself, hitting all green lights on the way to work or school, or someone telling you how nice you look that day. Those small things really start to add up and you'll feel your mood lift when they happen. Before you know it, the bigger things will start to happen and you'll realize how right everyone was all along.
3. It is not weak to ask for help.
This is one of the hardest things to get over because for some reason many of us believe that we will be fine on our own, that we don’t need any help because we are strong enough to handle ourselves. The truth us, we aren't. It is extremely hard to go through something such as depression alone and that does not make you weak. In fact, getting the courage to ask for and seek out help is one of the strongest things you can do. It shows that you’ve accepted there is a problem and you want nothing more than to help yourself. Admitting there is a problem is hard, denial is natural, but coming to terms with the reality of the situation will only help you overcome it.
4. There is at least one person in your life you can ask for help.
A friend, parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, cousin, coworker, boss, classmate, teacher, neighbor, child, school counselor, psychiatrist, guidance counselor, doctor, nurse, online support group and so many more. There are endless possibilities to the people you can go to for help and at least one person is bound to listen. Who you go to is completely up to you and what you feel comfortable with. Whether you decide to seek out professional help or you just want someone who will listen to you, there will always be someone that wants to see you get better and be rid of the hurting.
5. You are NOT crazy.
Yes, depression is a mental illness. No, you are not crazy. Depression is something millions and millions of people struggle with from college students, to new moms, to senior citizens. Too many people hear the phrase "mental illness" and immediately give it a negative connotation. The truth of the matter is having depression is an illness before anything else just like the flu or just having a stuffy nose. With time and care you will start to feel better which is the most important thing. Adding the word mental before illness does not mean crazy or unstable, all it means is it isn't a physical illness like the flu.
6. You are NOT a burden.
Depression usually comes with a lot of self doubt. We begin to feel like we are burdening others with our problems or that our problems aren't as important as those of others so we try to push them back. The truth is, you and your problems are important. There are so many people in your life that would want to see you get better and be happy again. Do not let your depression make you feel like you are not important.
7. Laugh. Laugh as often as possible.
Seriously. Laugh. Even if you have to fake it. Laughing and smiling is proven to lift your mood, even if you are faking it. Think of something funny that happened in your life, watch a video online, watch a funny show that’s on television. Whatever you have to do, just laugh, you will feel your mood lighten and you will begin to feel better, slowly but surely.
8. Stay active.
Whatever you do, do not stay locked away in your room, house, or apartment while you are struggling with depression. It can be extremely hard to get out of bed in the morning or get the motivation to go out and do something, but try your hardest. Staying in bed or cooped up in your house can sometimes only make your depression worse. If you go out and keep yourself busy, you are keeping your mind occupied. Something to consider, which isn't for everyone, is doing some type of exercise. You don't necessarily have to buy a membership at a gym, but take your dog for a walk, throw a football with someone, or go walk around the local mall.
If you are not a physical activity type of person, keep your mind active by reading, doing a crossword puzzle, or even coloring. Keeping your mind occupied, even for a little while, can have a tremendous effect on your overall mood.
9. You are stronger than you think.
You are. You are struggling through something others do not have to and are trying to overcome it. Fighting yourself is one of the hardest things you can do, but you are doing it. Be proud of yourself.
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice."
- Bob Marley
10. It is not your fault.
Depression is not something you can really prevent. Many struggle with the thought that they did something to cause this, but they didn't. You cannot be blamed or blame yourself for an illness that was thrust upon you. It is something that just happens.
11. You are so important.
Always, always remember that. No matter how down you are feeling, always remember that you are important and have a purpose. You were given one life to live, so live it.
If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. They are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
