Every second of everyday you sit and linger in the back of my mind. Some days are better than others. Some days I can ignore you and laugh for real. Some days the desire to lay in bed all day doesn't consume me. But on the days that it does I almost love you. When I allow myself to give into you and I spend all day in bed it's a sigh of relief. You take me away from everything. No work, no people, no fake smiles. Just me and my bed. Sometimes I love it. Sometimes it makes me sick just to think about how low I let you take me. Sometimes I want to scream at you. WHY ME? You make me feel alone. And like its better that way. No one could possibly understand and maybe they aren’t suppose to. But people do understand. I’m not alone! Sometimes I want to tell you, I’m not alone. I refuse to feel alone. I’m loved and not even you can take that from me. So thank you for the easy days, but even more thank you for the hard days. Thank you for the days where I have to really convince myself that everyday is worth living and I will make my life into everything I want and more.
