it's not something you would expect from someone like me
funny, smiling, laughing
but its never what i feel
you see me every day but yet can’t put your finger on what it is
maybe its the way i bite my nails
and when i don’t bite my nails i pick at the skin around them
or maybe its the way i bounce my leg when i know i’m late to my next class
or maybe its the way i have to lay my clothes out the night before
or the way i have to do my laundry at 11 am on a tuesday
or maybe its the way that i don’t ever take a second to breathe
or relax
because when the darkness settles in
all i can think about is what i’m doing wrong.
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