Death, A Necessary Conversation

Death, The Conversation No LEO Wife Wants To Have But Needs To

None of us are exempt from it.

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When the song, The Weight of the Badge came out by George Strait my husband insisted I listen to it and then told me he wanted it played at his funeral. I gave him a snarl and brushed him off. The thought of losing him be it to old age, accident or disease is the last thing I want on my mind. The problem with brushing it off is that if something did happen I would be utterly unprepared to deal with his death. It isn't that I would be helpless but if something bad happened I don't know where my mind would be. The process of losing a person is not easy and even less so when you aren't prepared for the fatal condition called life.

Death is not a topic to be scared of or avoided, it is a one hundred percent guarantee that at some point this life will end. It does not matter what field or profession a person is in. Any profession can be at risk. It is not just law enforcement that needs to plan ahead. Sickness, disease, and death could hit anyone. Car accidents happen every day and they can happen to anyone. Don't wait until it is too late to make your wishes known.

It is not an easy conversation to start. One thing to consider is that death isn't the first thing to come. Serious disease like cancer or heart disease can cause prolonged hospital stays. Physical injury can lead to disability long before death. Either can leave a person incapacitated and not able to make the decision for themselves. Who would you want with the power to pull the plug?

Then there is who and what you leave behind. Children are a big factor for many people. Their age makes a difference. A two-year-old will need much more care and support financially than a 17-year-old. Debt, assets, and property, all these things have to be considered. Who will get it? Are the children old enough? If something happened to both parents who do you want to take care of your children?

The part that everyone does consider at least once in life is the final parting. Is it cremation or coffin? Is it a burial plot or an exotic location to spread your ashes? Costs are a big factor. Will there be enough money to carry out the type of service and burial that is desired? If you never have the conversation, how do you know what the other person's wishes are?

If you have never had the conversation don't wait another day. None of us are promised tomorrow. It is one of the hardest conversations a person can have. When it comes to that inevitable moment, when the moments on earth end, it will leave some peace. There will be comfort in knowing that their wishes will be carried out. There will be peace in the chaos when the ones left behind are not left piled with uncertainty. Make plans for the future, not just for you but the ones you love. Leave behind a legacy, not a question mark.

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13 Movies Every Couple Needs To Watch Before They Get Married

Let's be honest, Rachel McAdams is in all the best love stories.

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These 13 movies are the foundation of any long-lasting relationship, and I'm not joking. Each movie will show you something new about your partner, and make you ask each other the hard questions. How many kids do you want and how are you going to raise them? What would happen if you got into a horrible accident? Some are less serious though, like what if you could time travel?

I promise that not every one of these movies is a Nicholas Sparks classic, and I also promise that not every movie has Rachel McAdams in it!

1. "The Time Traveler's Wife"

This movie is both heartbreaking and amazing.

2. "About Time"

Let's be honest, Rachel McAdams is in all the best love stories. It's on Netflix right now, so grab some snacks and turn it on!

3. "Like Crazy"

This infamous Tumblr gif came from "Like Crazy." It's about a couple who goes long distance and build their life together. I used to cry every time I watched it, and I'm no crier! It also has the (now famous) Felicity Jones in it.

4. "The Notebook"

Every girl wants this kind of love.

5. "The Last Song"

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth are literally married now so if that isn't good luck, I don't know what is.

6. "Safe Haven"

You guessed it! This is another Nicholas Sparks classic. This movie has a dark twist as well, which men will love.

7. "Inside Out"

You may be thinking that this one is a bit weird. Well, this movie will help both you and your partner understand each other's emotions better.

8. "The Choice"

This movie is great because the female lead is feisty and extremely intelligent, which usually doesn't happen in love stories. How do you keep the love alive with a woman who is hard to get, and even harder to keep entertained?

9. "The Longest Ride"

Originally I could not stand the main female lead (Britt Robertson) but now she is in one of my favorite shows (For The People), so I have no choice. This movie had me on the end of my seat, and as a rom-com it is a must.

10. "The Age Of Adaline"

I began loving the name 'Adaline' thanks to this movie. This unlikely love story and self love journey really gets me.

11. "The Vow"

Imagine falling in love with someone and building a life, but an accident forces you to start all over?

12. "Titanic"

If they don't have any sort of reaction to this movie, they are probably not the one for you.

13. "Yours, Mine, & Ours"

Yours, Mine, & Ours is a true classic. Are you Helen or Frank Beardsley? You should figure that out before you tie the knot!

You're welcome!

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To The Ex-Best Friend Who Made Everything A Competition, I'm Done Playing Your Game

And I'm doing OK without you.

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Dear Best Friend,

We were inseparable, attached at the hip, and I always thought that you would be in my life for forever. We did everything together: ate the worst food possible, watched the newest crappy Netflix film, cried over the boy that constantly broke our hearts, and laughed at the things that made us seem the most stupid. I loved you like a sister, and I would do anything for you, but everything started to change quickly, and it didn't make sense for me to stay.

As close as we were, things started to become a competition: who could be the happiest? Who could be the best in school? Who could find the "one" first? Even now, I sit and question why we thought that these things were supposed to strengthen our friendship when they only destroyed it. I felt like I had entered a toxic relationship, trapped in the constant annoyance that I felt in your presence, and I hate that I felt this way. But, here's the thing, you were so wrapped up in your own life and making yourself happy that you had totally forgotten that I had a life of my own. I wanted to be successful, too. I wanted to have a shoulder to cry on when I was hurt, too. I wanted to have my best friend on my side, too. But I didn't have the luxury that you did; you were my best friend, but I wasn't yours.

After months of just being there at your disposal, I finally learned what life would be like without having my best friend around, and that really sucked, if I'm being honest. Every time you called, I was there. Every time he broke your heart, I was there. Every time you needed to cry, I was there. I was behind you every step of the way, that even when my day was horrible, I made sure to answer when you called. But, when I needed you, the conversation was spun into your mandala of life, and my problems were thrust outside the lines. I was tired of being taken advantage of.

After all the ignored advice given, I finally gave up. I couldn't sit back and watch you ruin your life over a guy that obviously didn't care about your well-being or our friendship. I watched our friendship turn from something once great, something I couldn't live without, into something toxic and something I wanted no part of.

Because I knew that I had lost you a long time ago, I've spent a lot of time thinking about how I could live a happier life without you in it. I wanted to make sure that the days of being in this crazy competition were over for me, and that I could look back on this last year and know that, no matter what, I was the winner of my own happiness. And I look at you, and I truly feel sorry for you because you've spent so much time trying to give someone else your happiness. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry that this happened. I'm sorry we grew apart. I'm sorry I wasn't able to be the friend that you needed. I'm sorry that I won't be the girl who hides behind one of her friends. I'm sorry that I have my own life, one that I'm proud of.

I'm glad we had laughs that we did. I'm glad we cried together. I'm glad that we have the amazing memories that we do.

You were my best friend, and I'll always be there for you. Just remember why I left.

With love,

Your Ex-Best Friend

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