Dear Over-Achiever: You Are Good Enough
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

Dear Over-Achiever: You Are Good Enough

Confessions Of An Over-Achiever

Dear Over-Achiever: You Are Good Enough
cs monitor

I don’t know when it clicked.

When did my brain become wired to worry, to stress, to constantly question if I was making good decisions? When did I start thinking that everything I did, no matter how many achievements or pats on the back, was not good enough, and possibly never will be? When did all I see for my future become a black hole? I am not exactly sure, but I know now that it isn’t healthy.

In eighth grade year, I tested out of my ninth grade English class. From then on, I attended Summer School in hopes of getting ahead completely. I ended up graduating early, and am happy that I did. In the beginning, I was relishing in the little things I achieved. But it escalated as the stress of high school continued.

I was overcompensating for everything I was not.

High school achievements:

The National Honors Society, The National Thespians, The French National Honor Society, Suma Cum Laude, VP of The French Club, and a tutor. I also had a 4.4 G.P.A and had recently joined the golf team. For some reason, at the time, it wasn’t enough. My mindset was, and maybe still is:

"I’m only number fifteen in my class out of two hundred thirty people, I didn’t get a principal’s award, and I never reached my goal of a 4.7 G.P.A. Nobody will remember me, I will never succeed. I will never be the best.”

I was happy with all my accomplishments, but I wasn't satisfied. I was left with intense feelings of shame and worthlessness. With the stresses of leaving home and entering the world at seventeen because of my said over-achievement, I was stuck in a limbo where I was an adult, but I wasn’t, and it was a drastic change I decided to take on by myself.

That’s when over-achieving started consuming my life.

I am in the constant state of calculating my life, adding the numbers of my G.P.A again and again and again, analyzing the percentages of my success. I am afraid that amount will be zero; that I will amount to nothing. I plan so far ahead and hope that everything will work out. When something is seemingly hopeless, I search frantically for a solution because I think I should be able to control, or at least fix the problem. But I know now that there isn’t a solution for everything, and that if I raise my expectations too high, they could crush me like an anvil.

Like anyone, I want to be happy. Still, the need for approval is a constant, at least from those I care about. When people rally behind you and support you in the most fundamental ways, wouldn’t you want to see their pride the most?

Happiness lies in the most idealistic bones in my body. I’m also a dreamer, so when I set my heart on something, and someone I care about disapproves, it is an angry sea of conflict. What would you pick; what makes you happy, or those who have always supported you throughout your life?

There is a need to overcompensate for all those times I’ve disappointed myself and others. To be so stressed, feeling I have to deal with it by myself; it is hard. I have high expectations. And when the stress isn’t there, it’s an incompleteness, because there is a fear that I am forgetting something and that the consequences will be horrible.

Dear Over-Achiever,

You are working so hard for your family and you want them to revel in your success. You are motivated, but being as motivated as you are, you run yourself ragged and set yourself up for failure. Don’t do that, or the resentment for everything you care about will set in.

Align your expectations with reality.

Other people’s accomplishments don’t overshadow your own because you are actually the one casting the shadow. You have no expectations to live up to but your own. Work hard for the life you want, and don’t be afraid to take a little risk. I am slowly learning to approach life this way, to enjoy it with other people, and I hope you’ll take that notion away with you! In addition, there is such thing as thinking too big, too idealistic, and the goals you set for yourself can be your emotional downfall. If you can lift thirty pounds one day, it is unrealistic to think you can lift a hundred and fifty the very next day, even with a large amount of ambition.

Take the guilt trips in your stride.

Everyone makes mistakes, and when your family says something about you “not doing something” and it is giving you grief, take a few breaths. Everything they are saying is coming from their hearts. They make it about them, and it is your responsibility to realize it is still about you. Choose your battles, because it is possible to please yourself and others, just remember that you are now independent and must fulfill your needs first.

Stop and smell the roses.

People tell you various versions of this all the time, but this is your reality check from a fellow Over-achiever. It’s true, and the sooner you learn to stop and breathe and count sheep, the sooner you can be healthier in all aspects. Being a hard worker is a gift all your own, and you’ve honed it, but to perfect it, you need to realize that you’ll never be perfect. It is okay to treat yourself once in a while, and I am saying this in reference to a passion. Write, dance, play cards, do something that you know for sure you will enjoy.

You are good enough, and it is time to realize that.



Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

6 Things Owning A Cat Has Taught Me

This one's for you, Spock.

6 Things Owning A Cat Has Taught Me
Liz Abere

Owning a pet can get difficult and expensive. Sometimes, their vet bills cost hundreds of dollars just for one visit. On top of that, pets also need food, a wee wee pad for a dog, a litter box with litter for a cat, toys, and treats. Besides having to spend hundreds of dollars on them, they provide a great companion and are almost always there when you need to talk to someone. For the past six years, I have been the proud owner of my purebred Bengal cat named Spock. Although he's only seven years and four months old, he's taught me so much. Here's a few of the things that he has taught me.

Keep Reading...Show less

Kinder Self - Eyes

You're Your Own Best Friend

Kinder Self - Eyes

It's fun to see all of the selfies on social media, they are everywhere. I see pictures with pouty lips, duck lips and pucker lips. I see smokey eyes, huge fake lashes and nicely done nose jobs, boob jobs and butt lifts. Women working out in spandex, tiny tops and flip flops. I see tight abs and firm butts, manicured nails and toes, up dos and flowing hair. "Wow", I think to myself," I could apply tons of make-up, spend an hour on my hair, pose all day and not look like that. Maybe I need a longer stick!"

Keep Reading...Show less

Rap Songs With A Deeper Meaning

Rap is more than the F-bomb and a beat. Read what artists like Fetty, Schoolboy Q, Drake, and 2Pac can teach you.

Rap artist delivers performance on stage
Photo by Chase Fade on Unsplash

On the surface, rap songs may carry a surface perception of negativity. However, exploring their lyrics reveals profound hidden depth.Despite occasional profanity, it's crucial to look beyond it. Rap transcends mere wordplay; these 25 song lyrics impart valuable life lessons, offering insights that extend beyond the conventional perception of rap music.

Keep Reading...Show less

21 Drinks For Your 21st Birthday

Maybe don't try them all in one day...

21 Drinks For Your 21st Birthday

My 21st birthday is finally almost here. In honor of finally turning 21, I thought I'd share 21 fun drinks since it's finally legal for me to drink them.

Some of these drinks are basic, but some of them are a little more interesting. I thought they all looked pretty good and worth trying, so choose your favorites to enjoy at your big birthday bash!

Keep Reading...Show less

Ancient Roman Kings: 7 Leaders of Early Rome

The names and dates of the reigns of the first four kings, as well as the alternation of Sabin and Latin names, are more legendary than historical. The last three kings, of Etruscan origin, have an existence which seems less uncertain.

inside ancient roman building
Photo by Chad Greiter on Unsplash

It is evident that all this is only a legend although archeology shows us little by little that these kings if they did not exist as the ancient history, describes them, have at least in the very Outlines were real as chief of a shepherd’s tribe. The period when kings ruled Rome could estimate at 245 years.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments