Hopefully, this is not just another one of the many responses to “Dear Fat People,” but a response that offers a new perspective on what became a very controversial video.
Dear Nicole Arbour,
I decided to write this after seeing your video only one time and feeling so much anger, but as I rewatched it, my feelings completely changed. Initially, I saw you as another random girl on the internet wanting to say anything and everything needed to go viral. I do think attention may have been one of your goals in making the video, but after I watched again, I felt like you also had good intentions. Comedy is your outlet and the way you earned your platform, so you were speaking in the way you know how, but I think what you need to understand is that your delivery was poor.
I'm not saying I didn't understand the points your made or even that some were not valid; I actually really liked your analogy about Smarties and only having one body for your entire life. I like that you thought about the consequences of obesity, such as a family being left behind when someone dies too early, because it's something people don't think about. That being said, I think what frustrates so many people is that at some points, it stops being about helping others and starts being how their body affects and offends you. You talk about people as if they are beneath you or disgusting, and neither of those are true. The tone that you use when you say the word "fat" just sounds mean. Maybe people do get offended more often these days, but maybe that isn’t a bad thing, it's just an effect of living in a country that is becoming more loving and tolerant of all kinds of people.
At the end of the video, you say you will love people no matter, what but that they need to hear the truth. Had you started with this approach or mentioned it more, I truly believe people would’ve been more susceptible to hearing what you had to say, because it is important that people remember to take care of themselves. The very people you wanted to hear your message probably would have been more willing to listen if it seemed like you cared for their well-being and not just becoming the most controversial person on YouTube for the moment.
Although I understand a lot of what you had to say, I do think you are completely wrong about two things. The first being that you made fun of the body positive trend. That movement is so important, no matter what form or size someone is currently. Why should someone hate themselves until they are a healthy weight when they can love themselves and still be working towards a healthier life? You have a strong following and the ability to talk to so many people who could be dealing with a wide range of struggles in life, including eating disorders, bullying, or depression, so it’s wrong and irresponsible to encourage people to not only dislike but hate themselves just because their lifestyle upsets you.
You also make it clear that you believe fat people created “fat shaming” to feel victimized, and that is also not true. National news stations have put people in fat suits and filmed how they were treated in comparison to how they are treated normally. Unfortunately, fat shaming is a real thing, so before you act like these people play victim to something that doesn't exist, look into the facts and see that it does. Just because you haven’t experienced it or seen if for yourself doesn’t make something less true or hurtful.
You have talent and the platform, so you should make sure you use it right. Don't encourage the hatred of others, but the love of oneself that is needed to improve health. You don’t have to be controversial to be good, and you can be funny while getting your point across kindly.
Sincerely,
