Dear girls, it's not his fault.

This is NOT about abusive relationships. This is about you seeing your worth and not settling with a guy you know you can leave but choose not to.

It’s not his fault that you aren’t demanding better for yourself. It’s not his fault that you’re staying in a crappy relationship. It’s not his fault that you won’t move on...And It’s definitely not his fault that you’re settling. Yes, it’s his fault for not treating you better and not giving you the respect you deserve but it’s not his fault that you won’t woman up and leave him. He may be at fault for some things, probably a lot of things, but he isn’t at fault for the decisions you make.

I’m a true believer in the idea that how worthy someone believes he or she is as an individual is a direct reflection of his or her own self-image. In other words, if a girl doesn't have a positive image about herself, she won’t see her own beauty and she won’t believe that she deserves better. Maybe he can be negative, maybe this negativity can be hurtful. But maybe you let him act this way instead of speaking up. Maybe the negative view you have about yourself is the reason you so easily fall into the arms of a jerk all while struggling to fall in love with your own beauty.

In the simplest of terms, if you don't love and respect yourself, you will accept a poor excuse for love from someone else. Even though that someone else doesn't actually love you, you don't love yourself. So you cling to the idea that having someone, even if that someone is completely wrong for you, is better than having no one.

Far too often, girls are dissatisfied with their relationships and they know that it isn't true love or anything close to that. They complain about not being treated like the princess their daddy let them be as a little girl. They complain about being disrespected. They complain about being with a guy that fills them up with emptiness. But they blame the guy. Girls, it may be the guy’s fault for being a complete jackass, but it's your fault for staying. If you loved yourself enough, you would be gone - long gone.

So girls, continue to get upset, continue to cry, continue to get heartbroken and continue to feel empty... Or try a different approach. This approach consists of two things: stop holding on to a guy or a relationship that is crappy at best and move the heck on with your life. No, it’s not right that many guys fail to treat girls with the respect they deserve, but it’s also not right to blame them for the things you have control of like whether or not you allow them to be in your life or not.

What it all comes down to is if he doesn’t give you the relationship that you want, deserve, and need – then give yourself that love by moving on. Moving on from an unhealthy relationship or significant other is the first step to loving yourself. Even though he's a jerk, it is true that breaking it off will be hard, and may hurt like hell. But the reason you're with him is to feel some kind of security and protection. Some kind of connection. Some kind of passion. And most importantly, some kind of love. But you know he doesn't love you so you there's no reason to stay, no matter how many excuses you make.

Remember, it's his fault that he doesn't see your worth, but if you stay with him, it's your fault that you don't see it either.

Editor's Note: This article has been updated to further reflect that the author does not condone abusive relationships.