The song "Dear Future Husband" by Meghan Trainor details a wistful woman's wishes and expectations for her future husband — how he is supposed to act and react. Basically, he is a mind-reading, impossibly suave prototype partner. To each their own, I guess.
When I first heard this song, I honestly thought it was a joke. Her vision of a future marriage was so vastly different from any description of a healthy, long-lasting relationship. By the end of the song, I was not sure my eyebrows could be raised any higher in shock.
I've been blessed to experience some amazingly solid, lovely marriages in both my family and community. Their advice to me in my relationship has always consisted of exercising mutual communication, respect, humility, intimacy, vulnerability and servanthood with each other.
So, I decided to give Ms. Trainor's lyrics a little bit of a re-write to reflect the type of song I'd like to sing (or maybe read, considering my vocal abilities) to my future man who will stand by my side as a loyal, loving partner, and whose side I will stand by as an equally loyal, loving partner.
*The original lyrics to the song "Dear Future Husband" were recorded and performed by Meghan Trainor. The song was written by Trainor and Kevin Kadish, who was also the producer. The song was released March 16, 2015, as part of her album Title.*
"Dear Future Husband: A Re-Write"
Dear future husband,
Here's a few things you’ll need to know
if you want to be
In a mutually loving, respectful relationship all our lives…
Take me on a date —
We deserve some time together, babe.
I’ll really appreciate it if you bring me flowers on our anniversary.
'Cause if you treat me right
You’ll be honoring me as your wife.
Of course, I’ll get groceries
Because food is what we need. (Duh?)
You may have a 9 to 5;
Baby, maybe so will I.
So we’ll need to work out a dinner compromise.
Whoever gets home earlier can cook,
And the other will take a look
At the dishes that are dirty
And help do them cheerfully…
I’ll treat you as a gentleman, and you'll treat me as a lady
And even when things are getting crazy,
We’ll work together to make everything all right.
Dear future husband,
Here’s a few things you’ll need to know
if you want to be
In a mutually loving, respectful relationship all our lives.
Dear future husband,
May our words to each other always be loving,
And let’s not ever go to bed angry one single night.
After every fight
We both apologize
Because we love each other more than we love being right.
Even if I was wrong -
[Laughs] I can be really stubborn!
Tell me why you disagree
So we can work through it humbly.
I’ll call you “my dear," and you'll call me your lady,
Even though we’ll drive each other crazy,
We know that we’re going to be all right.
Dear future husband,
Here’s a few things you’ll need to know
if you want to be
In a mutually loving, respecting relationship all our lives.
Dear future husband,
Please make time for me,
So neither of us has to be lonely
And know our travel plans will be split between your family and mine.
I’ll be sleeping right next to your side in bed.
Open doors for me, and I’ll thank you for being considerate.
I know I’m the only one on your mind,
So when we’ve taken adequate time
To discuss our wedding,
Let’s go pick out a ring.
You'll be my one man, and I’ll be your only lady.
Other people may think that we’re crazy;
We’ll show them we are more than all right.
Dear future husband,
Here’s a few things you’ll need to know
if you want to be
In a mutually loving, respecting relationship all our lives.
Dear future husband,
I promise to give you all my loving,
And I know I’ll be loved by you each day and every night.
(That’s right!)
Future husband, let’s love each other right.
