Dear BFF's future hubby,
First of all, congratulations. You've caught one of the sweetest, most beautiful fish in the sea. But I don't need to tell you this. You already know she's a dime plus ninety-nine. Wifing her up is definitely the best decision you've ever made. Our girl (yes, she's mine too) is one of a kind. She's strong, smart and unbelievably caring. Her standards are pretty darn high, so you must be quite the man. If I had to guess, I'd say you're very tall and very handsome. You probably also dress extremely well and drive a nice car. Most importantly, though, I'm sure you're an awesome person who treats my best friend like the princess she is. Now that you two have tied the knot, there are a few things we should get straight.
You married me too.
Sorry to break it to you, but her and I are a package deal. Lucky for you, I rock so this is no biggie. You can expect daily phone calls and multiple visits throughout the week. Some of these visits may result in sleepovers, and some of these sleepovers may be in your bed. Deal with it. You'll learn to love me (almost) as much as you love her.
I'll be your go-to girl.
If you ever need advice or anything of the sort, I got you. I know this girl better than 99% of people so I'll be your main source of info until you reach my level of expertise. It's likely that I played a big part in planning out your engagement so you probably already know how good I am at this kind of stuff. If she's ever upset, call me up and I'll I'll tell you how screwed up and give and how to fix it. If you want to know how to surprise her, I'm your gal. Of course, all of this will be our little secret. You can take full credit for any of the ideas I give you.
If you hurt her, I'll cut your you-know-what off.
I know you won't, but this is something I'm kind of required to say.
I'm so glad she met you.
This is the most important thing I want you to know. I can only imagine how incredibly happy you make my best friend. She doesn't fall in love with just anybody, so I know you're special. You're the one. I can finally stop pretending to be her lesbian girlfriend when creepy guys hit on her at the bar. So thank you. Thank for making her laugh until she cries, for constantly reminding her of her effortless beauty, and for never saying "no" to the pair of shoes she wants. Thank you for proving me right all of those times I promised her there was a guy out there worth marrying.
I can't wait to meet you!
Your future best friend-in-law