Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) is defined as, “a chronic condition that affects millions of children and often continues into adulthood. ADHD includes a combination of persistent problems, such as difficulty sustaining attention, hyperactivity and impulsive behavior.” While ADHD can be treated with medication or helped with a variety of simple treatments such as changes in exercise or diet, many who are affected still suffer.
My significant other is one of the millions of people on Earth who have been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder. What does this mean for them? This means that they have a tough time focusing, often feel the urge to fidget with whatever is in their hands, suffer from low self-esteem and experience many more various symptoms.
Dating someone with ADHD can be hard for a variety of reasons including forgetting dates, having trouble having a serious conversation due to lack of focus, losing things that are important and always wanting something new or exciting. However, in the end, these relationships often result in both partners becoming stronger, both together and separately.
On her popular Youtube channel, HowToADHD, channel owner Jessica creates content that is intended to educate and empower her viewers, both with ADHD and without. In one very powerful video entitled “ADHD and Relationships: Let’s Be Honest,” Jessica brings to light the biggest struggle in relationships in which one partner is affected by ADHD. This problem is boredom. As Jessica describes it, our bodies crave a “dopamine high” which are often satisfied by new, exciting relationships. Thus, as a relationship progresses and not everything is rainbows, unicorns and sprinkles, the partner with ADHD often becomes bored and moves on.
Everyone has flaws, and relationships are all about accepting those. Dating someone with ADHD has made me a more patient person, someone who is more easily accepting of all situations. I can personally say that I have learned a lot, whether is was simply from the research that I did on the condition in order to better understand what they are going through, what one can do to help someone with ADHD or just learning to communicate better. This relationship has taught me not only how to be a good support system, but also what a good one requires for myself.
Although I cannot speak for my significant other, I believe that being in a serious, committed relationship while having ADD is not easy, but it is worth it. I believe that it shows them that someone will love them no matter what. I know it’s not easy for them to talk to me about ADHD; I have not experienced their situation and thus cannot relate. However, it has brought us closer to know that this is can be an open topic of conversation if we choose.
All in all, ADHD plus dating can be a tough combination, but can easily be worth the hard work if both sides of the relationship put in enough effort in order to contribute and make it something worth pursuing. Nothing worth having comes easy, it’s true.
