As a young boy growing up, I had many things that were indoctrinated into my life. There were unwritten rules that were forcefully put into place, and if you strayed away from them, you would be ostracized for it. Most of the rules fell under the umbrella of masculinity in the informal 'Bro Code' that we all know of. What the Bro Code officially consists of varies from person to person, as the code is one of those societal things that men are just supposed to know.
I never really understood or agreed with much of the Bro Code. Most of the rules were thinly-veiled attempts at keeping misogyny prevalent. Some rules are just flat-out sexist. But since the rules are unwritten, they are very easily interpreted by whomever is abiding by them.
Case in point, Lakers rookie point guard D'angelo Russell found himself in violation of the code earlier this week. Footage leaked of Russell secretly videotaping fellow Laker Nick Young as Young bragged about his many sexual partners--all the while he was engaged to Iggy Azalea. In the aftermath, people jumped all over Russell for breaking the Bro Code and exposing his teammate for his problematic behavior. The Internet had a field day, making demeaning memes and accusing Russell of being a snitch. Even players, both former and current seemed to back Nick Young and some even suggested that D'Angelo should be traded to another team because of his actions. People claim that Russell can't be trusted anymore, and nobody on the Lakers will want play with him, let alone be around him.
All of this Russell bashing may seem warranted; after all he did record a conversation without his teammate's consent. However, what gets lost in all of this is the real issue of infidelity on the part of Nick Young. According to the Bro Code, exposing your friend's affairs is a major violation. Therefore, Russell is portrayed more as a villain than the person who actually committed the nefarious acts. I find it puzzling that there were no memes bashing Nick Young about cheating on his fiancee, or people labeling him a cheater. Instead, Russell has unilaterally been receiving the hate.
One may argue that, in the Russell-Young dilemma, it is none of Russell's business who Young sleeps with. Yet, if you consider yourself a friend, you should care about what integrity your friends have. Now this doesn't mean that you should go around recording your friends confessing, but you shouldn't turn a blind eye to it either. How you personally want to handle that type of situation is up to you, but giving your bro a pass for cheating should never be okay.
What the Bro Code does in this instance is shield men from confronting other men about their infidelity, and makes the person who does the snitching a villain. I then ask, what good is a 'bro' if the bro isn't there to call you out on your shit? Is there more pride in maintaining the relationship with your bro if you know what your bro is doing is wrong and immoral? When do you start to care about Iggy Azalea's feelings in this situation? When does the woman start to matter?
The Bro Code is an out-dated set of rules to live your life by. While nobody in the Lakers's situation is totally guilty or innocent, there is no denying that the backlash is has so far been mainly one-sided. It is time to reevaluate the backlash, and in effect the Bro Code as a general principal to follow.
Hopefully there will be a future in which infidelity will no longer be viewed as an unspeakable subject for men. After all, the women are the ones getting hurt the most in these situations. The Bro Code shouldn't be an excuse to forget about them.
