It's been quite some time since we've last spoken. It's taken me a long time to build up the courage to write something like this. But here it goes.
Firstly, I want to start off by saying thank you. Thank you for teaching me from such a young age that you can't always depend on people and that not everyone will follow through with their promises, and most importantly for teaching me to be independent. It's ironic how your absence could've taught me so much.
I can't say that there have only been bad times, that would be unfair. We have shared some happy moments. I'll hold on to those memories forever.
I'm not sure when you decided that you just didn't want to parent anymore. Was it when you said you were on your way to pick me up when I was 7, but never came? Or was it when I was 10, playing soccer and you never came to a game? Or was it when I was in high school at my senior walk, but the only one who accompanied me was my mom? Or was it last year when you forgot my birthday and texted me 2 days later "HBD"? Was I just not good enough or important enough that you couldn't take an hour out of your day to support me? I'm not sure if I ever really want to know the answer.
I'm in college now. I'm actually a sophomore. You've never been to my school. You don't know what school I go to. You don't what I'm majoring in. You don't know I'm in a sorority. You don't know that I'm thinking about studying abroad. You just don't know me anymore.
The only thing that you know about me is that I'm forgiving. My whole life I gave you chance after chance to finally get it together and be my parent. It never happened. You've ruined that for me. Despite my forgiveness, there are so many things I could never forgive you for, calling me selfish for wanting to continue me education, not calling when it really mattered, and above all, I cannot ever forgive you for speaking poorly about my mother who's done everything for me.
The last thing I want to thank you for is, not being there. Thank you for leaving. You absence has made me and mom so close. For that, I'm forever grateful.
I truly hope that one day you figure it out. I wish you nothing but happiness and the best in whatever you do in life.
Always,
Your daughter.
