Although I have never met Ms. Britney Spears in person, I know for sure that there is one thing we just might be able to have an intimate discussion about. How exactly does one become addicted to someone that is toxic?
Relax, I know that's not really what the song is about, but as odd as it might sound, it did get me thinking. Why do we let toxic people affect our lives? How do these people become so toxic without realizing it? I mean, in an ideal world, everyone would get along or at the very least simply let bygones be bygones and agree to give those that they dislike space.
Unfortunately, this is not the world that we live in, and every so often, even though you try to surround yourself with good people, that one toxic person always somehow manages to wriggle their way into your life which makes it almost impossible for you to ignore them.
This person may make snide remarks about your abilities or try to enforce ideas of "how amazing they are" and "how they excel at every task." They may even make you question your own confidence or friendships if you have to be around them for an extended amount of time every day.
Some days it's easier to brush off their rude comments. For others, however, it is much harder to ignore them and their impolite statements begin to chip away at your own self-esteem. What is crucial to remember in these moments is that they are not telling the truth.
Although it is much easier said than done, the best way to tolerate the toxic person in your life is to not give them the satisfaction, and not let them hurt you. The reason toxic people are so damn toxic is usually that they are horribly insecure themselves. In order to feel better about their own shortcomings, they feel the need to tear others down to make themselves seem superior by comparison.
In order to combat their insecurity, you have to create your own confidence. Show them that you, unlike them, do not feel the need to brag about your own accomplishments. If they decide to be petty, play devil's advocate. Do not be afraid to question them, ask them why they would think such a thing? Do they have any solid evidence to back up their claims?
More often than not, they don't have any evidence because toxic people do not thrive on the truth. Instead, they feed off of the negative energy of others; they live for drama and petty bullshit. They will spread whatever rumors they please or continue to have an unpleasant attitude around you, and none of it is usually grounded in any logic. As
long as they are not physically causing harm to you or others (which by that point makes them a great deal more than just toxic), there are ways to mentally stand your ground and protect yourself from their venom.
Confidence, genuine or purely for protective purposes, is the one surefire way to reflect the person's toxicity right back at them. The best part is, you don't even have to engage in the toxicity yourself. Just make it clear that they have no power here. Their petty looks or snide comments are only rooted in bullshit, and their own inability to feel comfortable in their own skin. Once you realize this, you are immune and they will continue to wallow in their own web of insecurities.
On the off chance, any of the toxic people I've come across are reading this, you know who you are.
So give up the charade and find some of your own self-confidence.
Because you are definitely not stealing any from me.
