Before I progress with this article, I would like to state that this page will consist of multiple trigger warnings for rape, and sexual assault. If either of these topics makes you uncomfortable in anyway, I urge you to click off this article and google search for cute puppies in raincoats. Thank you for understanding.
Recently, the news has been covering the story of Brock Turner's sexual assault on a unconscious 22 year old female. The story became very widely known as the court case progressed and the nation waited to see if he was going to get away with his horrible crime. The judge ultimately decided that Turner would serve a six month sentence. The media put Turner back in the spotlight this month out of outrage at his early release from jail. After being released 3 months early, Turner's life goes on as normal.
This case outrages so many because it brings light to how the court handles situations of rape and sexual assault. In this specific case, there are piles and piles of evidence showing that Turner raped an unconscious woman. Even with the undeniable evidence to support the claim, Turner served only three months. This outrage could even be considered a victory because at least he was found guilty. There are uncountable cases that have never gotten farther than the local police department. In a world where coming clean could be worse for you than for the person who raped you, many choose to keep quiet. In the case of People Vs. Turner, the accusation of rape was hardly questioned. Not every situation of rape is as obvious as the assault on an unconscious and unresponsive woman.
This leads many to ask the question; "What is considered rape, and how can you be certain they consented?" Many who will commit sexual assault may not think they were in the wrong. And those who have been assaulted will take to blaming themselves for the situation.
"I shouldn't have had so much to drink"
"I shouldn't have invited him over"
"I should've left when I could"
"I shouldn't have kissed him"
There's a fine line between what is and isn't considered consent. There are some that believe having to ask and physically say "yes I want to" all the time is "unromantic" and that it "ruins the mood." Nothing ruins the mood more than not wanting to participate in the first place. It's not always as simple as saying no, or just walking away. If someone is unable to consent, it shouldn't be a question. Rape happens in so many circumstances that it's hard to pinpoint one way to deal with it or one way to solve it. Rape can happen between two partners who trust each other just because someone feels obligated and doesn't speak up. It's a horrible situation that destroys the mind of the abused. Consent is something that shouldn't be questioned, but we are too afraid to be vocal about what we want. People have become too afraid of hurting someone's feelings, of not being heard, or of making the situation worse.
When it comes down to it, communication is the most important thing in any relationship between any two people. When something as important and fragile as sex comes into play, communication becomes vital. Nothing is more important than you and your partner both being comfortable and willing. When you lose that connection, you lose the humanity.
In the end, there are a million interpretations of what is and isn't rape. I believe it is up to the victim to decide whether or not they were comfortable with the situation and if it was forced upon them. Many may not agree. No matter what you do believe, there are so many unrecorded cases of rape where people just don't feel comfortable enough to even admit what did happen to them. And though the general public is outraged by the events following the Brock Turner case, at least it brought forth conversation and media coverage on a sensitive subject that often gets overlooked or dismissed. It's time to stop pretending it doesn't happen.
