Virgin: A person who has not had sexual intercourse (Merriam Webster Dictionary)
It’s 2016, with today’s modern dating culture, are virgins highly respected or easily made fun of?
When a woman is a virgin, she can be labeled as a trophy sign of purity, or simply someone who has not had sex yet.
When a man is a virgin, he is labeled as a complete loser.
However, gender should not determine one's decision on virginity.
A good friend of mine has recently affirmed that his male friend, who at the time was 23, remained virgin until he went to a brothel to experience his first sexual intercourse.
My jaw dropped with complete absurdity.
At that moment, my heart broke. I felt sad for the guy, while a sensation of anger built towards society. I could feel the pressure he must’ve felt from his peers, or the awkward vibe he puts up with at situations where people would talk openly about their sex lives and yet, has nothing to share about his own experience. Second, sex trafficking is accepted in developed countries. As much as I want to write on sex trafficking in brothels, I would like to steer this article on a male’s role on virginity.
With the exposure of the media, society has created this image of Male Masculinity partially equating to the number of women that he can compromise a sexual relationship with. We see it in the media and in the use of language cross culturally. An example would be the birth of the American stereotypical term, “Frat Boy” one who religiously worships his fraternity, gets drunk, and hooks up with girls on a regular basis. “Did you go all the way? BROOO you the man”, “Yeah I f*cked her”. The usage of the words “F*cked” or “Banged” disturb me because the respect for women is lost. This further emphasizes how the media displays that the triumph of a man is influenced upon the number of women he can physically “get”.
Not only does the use of language play a part with masculinity in the Western world, but also reflects in the East. In the Japanese language, the word “virgin” divides to the gender. The male virgin,“Doutei” and the female, “Shojo”. The kanji character of “Doutei”（童貞）is really interesting. The former character, 童, meaning youth, and the latter,貞, meaning righteousness. What questions me about this is how the term, virgin, symbolizes juvenility, but simultaneously beholds righteousness. Is there a fine line between an age that marks the beginning of one's sex life as the end of youth? Does it symbolize a betrayal of a man's morals? Judging these characters of the word led me to think about the righteousness of a man’s sexual actions. Sexual history should not determine what defines a man. A man's choice of virginity should not determine his level of vulnerability nor naiveness, it should hold virtue.
There’s a rare beauty in a person’s decision to remain virgin for whatever reason. With today’s dating culture, people make assumptions that young adults are sexually active, regardless if we are in a relationship or not. The harsh reality is that many people are single because they are receiving what they want out of someone without being in a committed relationship. To me, the action of hooking up defeats the whole purpose of intimacy. Even though it is denied, there will always be an emotional component that plays a factor in sexual relationships. Unfortunately, this often leads people to become stuck in a grey zone.
As a personal statement, I would prefer a man who values sex as an intimate connection, one who can stay committed towards the partner he is madly in love with. Although I respect people's right to sexual freedom, I find guys who proudly flaunt their polygamous sex life to win them some sense of cheap pride intolerable.
What defines a man is an overall balance of integrity, depth of empathy, intelligence, and self- determination towards his goals. Nothing is more attractive than someone who passionately devotes themselves towards their ambitious dreams. In conclusion, the ideology of remaining a virgin should be viewed as genderless. If a man chooses to remain virgin, it should be highly respected by the society.
