College is infamous for "Girls Gone Wild", in which this stereotype is well deserved. This stereotype is plastered all over any movie or TV show based on college life. I didn't know what to expect and I walked onto my college campus as an insecure, 18-year-old virgin, completely sheltered and unaware. I dove in head first to the college scene my freshman and sophomore year and I'm so glad I did.
I'm going to come out and say it: Yes, I was a "slut" in college, and you know what? I'm perfectly OK with that.
It's fascinating how double standards can work in our society. Walking past a herd of fraternity boys is unavoidable, which means I'm the lucky girl who gets to hear about "Brad's conquest of Becky from Apple Sigma Theta." In response, his story is met by a roar of praise from all of his friends. You think girls would receive this kind of praise for exploring their bodies? Nope. If a girl, like myself, decides to tell her girlfriends that she hooked up with a guy last night, she's met with slut comments and disgusting looks.
Why? Why is casual sex OK for men, but it's condemned among women?
I've had every name in the book thrown at me, and frankly, I'm OK with it. It's taught me to be resilient and sex has made me love and appreciate my body.
Am I saying that every girl on campus needs to start sleeping around with men in order to learn to love themselves? Definitely not.
What I'm trying to say is that for some girls, casual sex is how their confidence is built. Since I don't fit the normal "standard of beauty", I always thought no one would want to be with me. Being able to meet a guy who finds you attractive and wants to take it to the next level is almost like taking a hammer to the normal beauty standards and saying "No that is not the only type of girl who is considered attractive by America".
Being a "slut" influenced so many factors of my life.
By being a "slut" I learned what true love really is. When you're having casual sex with someone, you can easily be manipulated into thinking they love you. Taking control of who gets to indulge in your body and ridding yourself of the negative, manipulative men can open your eyes to the beauty of what true love looks like from a healthy perspective.
I noticed that once I started "being a slut" and exploring my body, my confidence was practically bursting out of me. I started to understand my own self-worth and beauty.
The word "slut" holds a negative connotation, and I don't think we should allow it to.
I think we should encourage women to stand up and embrace their sexuality and desires, rather than shamming them for it. If sex is done with safe measures, both mentally and physically, then why are women being shammed for it?
Women are strong, beautiful, and confident. Does that mean we are to be denied the same pleasures men can indulge in? Sex is a natural act and no one on this planet would be here if women didn't indulge in the pleasure of sex every now and again.
Having a "slut" phase in college changed my life.
I learned what it truly means to have confidence and feel beautiful. I learned how to be independent and I learned the difference between sex and love. I explored my body in ways I never knew before and I learned the standards of love to which I should be held and appreciated as a woman. I learned that I should never settle for anything, both in life and in bed.
The word "slut" puts a bad taste in peoples mouths because it holds such a negative stigma. As women, I think we should put an end to that stigma and show everyone how women can wave their "freak flag" (safely) just the same as men and propel the change towards equality.
