Command: to deserve or be able to get or receive something
Demand: a forceful statement in which you say that something must be done or given to you.
Too often, we mix these two words up when we desire something when really they are two very opposite terms. To command means that you are in charge and you deserve what should be given to you, while to demand means that you strongly desire something and forcefully state your desire, even though it might not come true.
The other day I was watching Iliza Shlesinger's new comedy special on Netflix called Confirmed Kills. While most of her material is downright hilarious, she said something that really hit me and made me realize that a lot of what women say and do today is on the right path, but we haven't quite reached the pinnacle of respecting women just yet.
"And if you want respect, you have to command respect, not demand it. Two totally different things. Commanding respect is in the actions, it's the way that we speak about each other, it's the way that you speak about yourself. If your whole agenda is to be sexual, and confusing being sexual with empowerment, and talk about sex all the time, thinking that that's the reason that women are empowered, you're [freaking] wrong. It comes with the way you treat yourself. Don't call each other whores. Don't call each other sluts. Because, when you do that, society looks at you and they say, "Oh it's okay to talk to women that way." You teach people how to treat you."
Many of us often forget that while some people (especially men) have been taught how to treat women with respect and dignity, there are many more of them out there who haven't. When we go around calling other girls sluts and whores, even as a joke, we as girls are saying that it is 100% acceptable for the rest of society to call us those things as well, when it's absolutely not! We must be the change that we want to see in the rest of society. We, as women, need to remember that it is not just men that oppress us, it is ourselves and how we treat the women around us as well.
Growing up my mother taught me to respect everyone and more than likely they will respect you back. Of course, there are those people in the world who are too unwilling to change no matter what, but those are few and far in between. Having a strong female role model as a little girl can affect how you treat yourself as a woman and other women around you for the rest of your life. We as women have made so many leaps and bounds in the past 100 years. We have earned the right to vote, we have started working in the workplace with men, we have fought for our civil rights and our equal pay, we even have our first potential female president of the United States! All this to say, it is not just men's faults that they sometimes treat us the way they do, and in no way am I advocating for men to treat women like animals and sexually harass them! We need to command the respect that we deserve so much, not demand it. Society owes us nothing, but we should at least have the freedom and liberty to have respect and dignity.
So, as Iliza so delicately puts it: "Girls, if you want respect, you're gonna have to take it. It's 2016. Let's learn math, let's learn science, let's drop the body issues, okay? Don't let anybody make you feel less than. Your bodies are perfect as they are."
Mic drop.
