Independent Lifestyle

Living An Independent Lifestyle In A Relationship Is Hard, But It's Possible

It it ok to sit in the passenger seat, and let him do his thing.

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I have always been extremely independent throughout my entire life. Aside from not being financially independent, every aspect of my life, I have been fully reliant on myself. I take pride in being this way because I want this to translate throughout my entire life.

I am more than capable of creating a life for myself without a male's support or money to obtain happiness. This mindset; however, can hinder a relationship with your significant other. With this being said, I want to bring to light that men want to feel that they have some sort of hold on the relationship, and transitioning into a situation where someone else wants you to show emotional reliance on them can be difficult.

A man wants you to stroke his ego, and showing him you have zero reliance on him could cause strain on his manhood.

In my current relationship, I decided to let my boyfriend finally know how I truly feel, and it has caused us to have a deeper bond than we would've ever had. Had I not expressed my feelings, our relationship would've stayed stagnant. I have now brought him into my life and brought him into my family.

This step I feared immensely, but fortunately, it has proven to be one of the best decisions that I could have made. He fits right in and fills a void that I did not even know existed. From this, I learned that taking a risk can make or break a situation. If I had never taken the step that I feared, I never would have given the relationship a chance to fully flourish.

Emotions are not my thing in general, I do not like crying or showing emotion in front of anyone. For some reason, I now am able fully to open up to him, and because of that, I love ending each of my days talking to him. However, focus, determination, and independence are still extremely prevalent in my life. This is a promise that I made to myself due to the fact that I never want to allow anything or anyone to cloud my judgment when it comes to things that will affect me long term.

There is hope in regards to love for girls that share the same personality as me. It is okay to let your guard down with someone who has proven to have good intentions with you. There are many different ways to tell if the intentions with someone is clear. Typically, if you have to question a man's intentions, they are most likely not going to be in your favor.

Taking this into account; always be yourself, thoroughly think things through, take risks, and understand that it does not make you any less independent or strong if you express your feelings to a man.

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Here It Is, The REAL Reason You're Single

Being single is a choice, and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

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It seems that any woman claiming her independence and declaring that she, in fact, likes being single is met with the same reaction every time. She's bitter or cynical or maybe just lying to herself so she can rest easier at night.

Whether it's society's incessant pressuring or primal nature screaming "MAKE BABIES," single girls are forced into thinking, What's wrong with me?

But, in most cases, a woman isn't single because she's unlovable or disagreeable — it's simply because she's strong enough to hold out for the right person. And maybe, just maybe, she's content with that.

I know, you've heard it before. But that doesn't make it any less true. I see so many people in miserable relationships (and have been in them), and I just think about how much better it feels to be free, rather than bogged down by someone I know isn't right for me.

Single girls are single because they know their worth and value their time. Apps like Tinder and Bumble make it easy to start relationships, so, for the most part, if you really wanted a significant other, you could find one.

But why waste a second on something you know isn't right?

Of course, this is no slam on people in relationships. If you find someone that makes you happy, that is more than enough reason to be with him/her. And if it doesn't work out, that's OK. I'm talking about entering into relationships that you know from the get-go aren't worth a shot.

And for me personally, I enjoy being single. I know, crazy right? I don't even know if I'd be completely ready for the 'right person' just yet. I love focusing on my friendships and flirting freely and knowing that there is nobody wondering where I am at all hours. Except, maybe, my mom.

Not everyone's world revolves around romance. And why should it have to?

Especially as you get older, people tend to treat being 'alone' like it's some sort of disease you have. But being single isn't something that is sad or embarrassing. And, by the way, not having a significant other in no way means you're actually alone.

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To The Girl Telling Herself She Doesn't 'Catch Feelings,' Stop Lying To Yourself

"Catching feels" is not synonymous with a sickness, but with embracing the human capacity to feel that we all too often neglect.

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We're all guilty of it. We think we have this incredible Great Wall of China protecting our vulnerability; however, we tend to overestimate its security with defense mechanisms that could potentially hurt us in the long-term, concerning the formation of future relationships.

We must let others in to embrace the process of falling for someone

If you're like me, constantly busy and preoccupied with life's demands (sometimes going days without proper inhalation and exhalation), we become almost numb and ignorant of our emotions, mostly as a result from not putting ourselves out there. But this lack of experience is wrongly mistaken for the notion of attachment resistance. It's OK to focus on yourself, but after a while, it is necessary and fun to reawaken those feelings and jubilant moods associated with falling for someone, because in the midst of life's madness, we often forget how to feel.

Do not attempt to avoid to "catch feels" like it's the plague

We're consistently bombarded with false advice from society to avoid "catching feels," or falling for someone, no matter the costs. Why is it suddenly so frowned upon to actually like someone you met? Why should we feel shame in wanting to continue a relationship with this person? Dating is evidently complicated in the 21st century, but don't let this make you try to consciously repress those newly-formed feelings since repression essentially leads to escalation. Embrace the feels because it's the human thing to do.

Loosen your wall's bricks with vulnerability

Some of our jerk-alert senses are more activated than others, mostly due to past experiences, but it's important to hammer into our heads that they're not all the same.

Stop lying to yourself. No matter how much you repress it, you will feel, you will get attached, and you will allow yourself to do this, despite what the norm is for what "dating" is today. Break off from your defense mechanisms and your wall will slowly follow. Remember: "catching feels" is not synonymous with sickness, but with embracing the human capacity to feel that we all too often neglect.

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