I'm a college girl attending a school known locally for its parties and I would rather stay home in my pajamas, watching Netflix.
When I announced to my aunt that I was committed to URI last summer, she laughed and said that when she was a college student in the late '90s and early '00s at Rhode Island College, it was dubbed as "You Are High." My older siblings talked of parties and how the institution was a spot for people who weren't even students. Some of my friends teased me that I was going to get intoxicated every night and they would get drunk texts at all hours. My parents warned me to be careful and to stay safe. Everyone noted that college was usually a time for young adults to let loose.
I have an extremely small circle of friends and if you're not in it, I am utterly uncomfortable engaging in conversation with you. Don't get me wrong, if you talk to me first and you seem like a cool person, I will be fine but I cannot make the first move almost ever. I would be following my group around the whole party which would not only annoy them but most likely result in me standing by myself in a corner for the entirety of the night because I lost them. I don't particularly like to drink or smoke. I'm kind of a lightweight and being high just results in my already bad anxiety shooting through the roof. I like to be sober and completely aware of everything going on around me. Sure there are some who don't participate in either activity but you're seen as a buzzkill for the rest as if your sobriety is ruining their fun.
I am self-conscious about my body. I do not like to wear tight-fitting or short clothes because I will continuously beat myself up for not wearing another outfit or not looking like some Instagram model. I would much prefer my glasses on with a baggy sweater and sweatpants. Unnecessary loud noises irritate me as I easily get migraines from them which can take some time to go away. I get nervous that I will do something embarrassing and be laughed at. I worry something unfortunate will happen.
I like to stay in with my parents and my dog. I like to go to restaurants, museums, amusement parks, and much more with people I am comfortable with. I can sit back with a bowl of popcorn, pop in a movie, and be set for the night. Just not partying. My definition of a good time is different from most college students and that's OK. I may be in college, but I am mentally a grandmother.
If you like to go out and party, I am not judging you. That's your element, go out and own it. But it's not mine.
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